My Lovely Rule Breaker

MLRB 16: Impatience

Sixteen:

My medication ran out. I don't know how I could've forgotten but with last nights practicing it didn't cross my mind. I couldn't tell anybody but I needed a way to get to a chemist. I forgot all about that doctors appointment that was scheduled for yesterday. 

Fuck! I've never had this problem before and have made sure I would never run out. We were performing last so it gave me a chance to get out of here. The last time I remember taking them were in the weekends.

I freak out when I have nothing, I double checked again but there was honestly nothing. Gabe had gone to sign in and there was nothing more important then this. Do I tell him? Maybe he can help? We were all required to help setup chairs and make sure everything was ready for tonight turns out there will be more people then expected and that included the founder of the program. My hands would get jittery and I'd feel dizzy but if left for too long my nerves get the better of me.

I tried calling my parents but none of them were answering. Every hour that went passed I was a lot more nervous. Gabe wasn't here and we still needed to do a run through. How could I even do so if my hands were to start shaking soon. I was afraid something would happen to me. I'm not at home where people are aware of my condition so being here far away from home was scary.

I tried to hold the guitar only I freaked out and dropped it. "You okay?"

I jumped at his voice. "Uh, yeah fine just slipped, I didn't dry my hands."

He didn't seem convinced but dropped it anyways. "Okay, I have to do something I'll be back. You'll be fine remember?"

I nodded. As soon as he left out the door I was back to the freaking out stage. I called my doctor and begged him to squeeze me in for a session just so he can write a prescription form for me. The only catch was it is at five o'clock there wasn't any other spaces and the talent show started at six. There's no telling if I'll make it back on time and it takes under an hour to get there so that worried me even more. My first problem was finding a way to get there.

Two hours past and I decided to skip breakfast just because I didn't want anybody suspecting something was wrong with me. I didn't go outside but just stayed couped up inside the cabin. I hoped nobody noticed and decided to pay me a visit because it would only add to my worries.

I went to the small kitchen making me a sandwich but having to sit down near my room just because I felt dizzy. My head felt it was causing an earthquake and the room was getting whirled into a whirlpool. I tried massaging my temples but the room kept spinning, I stood up briefly but fell back down on the floor.

"Ells? Ells, what's wrong?" He helped me so I was sitting upright with my back against the floor next to my room.

I spacing and I could feel. "Just help me up to my room, will you?" He nodded and lifted me bridal style into my room and laid me down on my bed.

"Is it the flu? You look very pale. Want me to take you to the doctors? Where's the pain, Ells talk to me." He pleaded. 

I was just too tired to speak and I was scared to tell him what was really wrong. It took me years before I had the courage to tell Logan what had happened as a result of the car crash and even then I was somewhat embarrassed to even say the word. 

My parents and her are the only ones that know and three people are enough as it is. Its been in the family and we've sworn that no matter what happened between us we wouldn't tell a soul. I wasn't ready at all for his judgment. I've already shared too much and shown too much.

"I'm fine Gabe. How's the preparations going?" I was trying to change the subject or at least get his mind away from me.

He scratched his head. "I can tell there's something wrong. What is it?" I guess not.