"Memories on the Ballfield"(Sequel to Earning His Love)

Did I Regret It? Going Back.

When I got home later that afternoon I cried on the couch with the bracelet still on my wrist. Why did I have to be so rude to him? Like I should have never been like that to begin with. The moment I talked to him I barely knew him he was right but I acted like I knew him for years and now he wants to mend things with me. I ruined it! I totally messed it up! I had to go back and fix things but I was going to do it before it was too late.

I called Anna and told her I was home and she said she would see me soon.

Aaron walked through the door with Conner.

Me: Honey. Do you mind if I take Conner for a walk?
Aaron: No honey. Go ahead. He wanted to go back outside anyways.
Me: Okay. Call me if you need anything. Love you.
Aaron: Love you more. I will.

As I took my son's hand he looked up at me and started talking to me and I answered him back.

Conner: Mommy are you okay?
Me: Yes babe. I'm okay.
Conner: Are you sure?
Me: Yes honey. I'm okay. Just hold onto my hand.
Conner: Okay. I love you mommy.
Me: Love you more baby.

As I walked with Conner my parents were walking the opposite direction and I spent the time with them to clear my head while I played with Conner in the park. It was getting dark and Conner was whiny because he was hungry so I told my parents to bring him back home because I had to run an errand and to tell Aaron where I went.

They nodded and walked away with Conner.

I texted Josh telling him to meet me at the park near the water downtown.

He texted back saying he would be there soon.

An hour later......

Josh came and sat next to me on the bench by the dock.

Josh: Hey.
Me: Hey.
Josh: Are you ok? I'm sorry about before.
Me: No you have every single right to try and mend things with me. I had to mend things with Charlie and we are on good terms but I know I won't lose him like I will lose you.
Josh: What do you mean?
Me: Anna told me you guys how your lives are on the line and what if I wake up one day and you as well as Grant God for bid are dead.
Josh: Sarah I do not wish for that to happen but God is always watching us you know that.
Me: Josh I know that but I can't lose you. You mean a lot to me even if we met through other people. I will still care about you and I am so grateful that you gave me this bracelet to remember you by.
Josh: Before I leave in a couple of weeks I want to give you something else of mine because Anna I know has Grant's and I don't know who else to give it to but before I leave I want you to come see me at the airport. Do you promise?
Me: I promise.
Josh: Okay.

As I stared back at the water I just thought about the movies that I watched with men in the military and looking at Josh I wondered how these women and men did it every single day. How their families dealt with it. It is nerve wrecking but at the same time it is heartbreaking. Losing anyone would kill me but losing people who fought for this country that is just a billion times worse.

Josh: Sarah?
Me: Hm?
Josh: What else did Anna tell you?
Me: Well she pretty much informed me about anything military. She was strict about what she wanted with Grant and I couldn't agree more. Everyone is different but I wish I had what she had. I mean I picked a different path but if I didn't marry a baseball guy or any guy near that I would have the skin to marry you Josh.
Josh: Are you sure?
Me: Oh yeah. I had people come up to me in the street asking me if I would take the guts to do that and I said I would. That is the toughest job honestly but it is so worth it because seeing you beyond the uniform inspires me to be different.
Josh: I'm glad you said that.
Me: Yeah. Some women don't deserve it. Also some men don't when their women are out there but to be honest this life isn't for everyone. I want you in my life Josh that is why I accepted the bracelet. It keeps me close to you. No matter where you are in the world I will think about you.
Josh: Thank you Sarah. Thank you for saying those words to me because I know I needed to hear them.
Me: You deserve to hear them. That note I sent you should have been a note to send now not before. Now that I know you well enough it is just knowing someone for so long.
Josh: I really understand. You don't treat me like other people do.
Me: I'm not those people Josh. They don't see past the uniform.
Josh: That is true Sarah. They don't.
Me: Anyways I should be heading back.
Josh: Let me drive you.
Me: Okay.

As I got in the car with Josh country music came on and I started humming to the songs I knew and I saw Josh's eyes just look at mine and I smiled back at him. Seeing him smile for the first time in a long time was a good feeling.

When he arrived in front of my house my parents car was already gone and I could see my son's light on in his room which would mean Aaron is putting him to bed.

Josh: I would love to meet Aaron and your son one day.
Me: I think they would like that because I know how much Aaron respects the military men and women. I would love for you to get to know him.
Josh: Let me know what day.
Me: Absolutely.

Before I got out of the car I felt Josh kiss my cheek and I smiled and kissed his back.

Josh: I love you Sarah.
Me: Love you too. Be safe. Text me when you get home.
Josh: I will. Trust me. :)

As I walked into the house I heard the car pull away.

Aaron: Hey.
Me: Hey babe.
Aaron: Everything ok?
Me: Oh yeah. I'm better. I just needed to catch up with an old friend.
Aaron: Josh.
Me: How do you know about Josh?
Aaron: Anna called me. I would like to meet him one day and I think Conner should get to know him.
Me: Yeah I said that to him and I would think that would be a good idea also.
Aaron: Sarah you know we can respect the other's privacy but from what I heard from Anna he's Grant's older brother?
Me: Yep. He's cool.
Aaron: Yeah I believe it.
Me: Anyways I'm going to sleep. You coming to bed?
Aaron: Yeah I will be up I just have to wash the dishes.
Me: Okay. I love you.
Aaron: :). Love you too babe.

I leaned up to kiss him and he smiled into the kiss which was nice.

When I got into bed I was happy for once. Let's just say when you are content with yourself you know things are going to be okay.