All I Want // H.S. // A.U.

Chapter Forty-Two

Towards the end of my workday on Wednesday, Mandy walked in to my office to give me a letter, telling me that someone had just randomly delivered it to our receptionist at the front desk, and they had sent it up to her. I didn't recognize the address, but when I opened it I nearly started crying.

Before me was a handwritten note from my father. It had been radio silence all weekend, which wasn't unexpected. I didn't know what was going to happen once I returned to work, but I didn't seek him out and he didn't seem to find it necessary to contact me. There was this inner battle happening inside me. On one hand I needed space away from him, and I wasn't sure if I would be alright being in the same room, but on the other hand he was still my father, and the fact that he hadn't even tried to reach out and see if I was okay was incredibly hurtful.

So as the days passed and I heard nothing, my abnormally good mood started to sink. I faked it well, as I always did, with the exception of Harry and Mandy. The contract signing with Carter went off without a hitch, and I was able to secure a date for Niall to fly over and start looking for spaces, but I couldn't help but wonder about what my dad was doing. I had sent Mandy to spy for me, but when she came back down she said that Maryse told her he wasn't in the office for the last few days.

That got me worried. At least if he was here, in the office, then I could keep an eye on him, but he could be going on some bender somewhere then I couldn't help him. I even thought to call my mom and ask if she knew where he was, but decided against it, opting to call Harry over and vent to him.

But now I was directly staring at a several page letter and I couldn't bring myself to read it. I folded it back over and stuffed it into the envelope.

It wasn't until we were at home eating dinner did I bring it up, saying quietly, breaking the silence, "I got a letter from my dad today."

He looked over at me, speedily turning the TV off, "What did it say?"

I shook my head, "I didn't read it."

"Why not?" Harry's brows were furrowed as he waited for me to explain.

I sigh, "I don't know. It was driving me nuts not knowing where he was all week, and then when I saw that it was from him I just... I just couldn't read it right then. I almost cried just seeing his handwriting, I didn't want to completely break down at work."

His eyes softened, "Do you have it with you?"

"Yeah," I say softly while nodding my head, "It's in my purse."

I watch closely as he gets up, walking over to the kitchen where I had left my bag, and taking it out. He looks over in confirmation and I nod my head. He places it on the coffee table, and sits next to me.

"What do you want to do?"

I look at him with uncertainty, "I don't know. I know I should read it, but I don't know if I can."

He takes his hand and brushes it through my hair, kissing my hairline and suggesting, "I can read it to you, if you'd like. Or if you want some alone time, I can leave you be. Go for a run-"

I'm already shaking my head at his second suggestion, "No, want you here."

"Okay, I'm right next to you, I won't leave." He was watching me intently as I stared at the small envelope, leg bouncing up and down nervously.

I swallowed harshly, "Uh, can you read it, please? I don't think I can."

He nods his head at me and places his hand on my opposite cheek, turning my head to look at him, "Love, I want you to tell me if you want me to stop, if you need to take a breather, okay? I know this can be a lot, but you need to hear what he has to say. Even if it's not what you want to hear."