Life as I know it

11/5

Ok so yesterday Nicolas walked up to me and Keely and he goes "Why have you been avoiding me?" And I was just like "Uh you've been avoiding me.." and he goes "I was looking for you! I went to lunch twice and you weren't there" so I said "Oh well the first half of GO Time I was in choir with Isaac while Michael was learning his Region music and the second half I had sectionals so I was in there then too. And he goes "Oh ok whatever then." And then he asked what I was doing today, (after apologizing saying he was a jwrk, which he isnt,) and I told him I had to make up this stupid quiz for Algebra but I'd meet him second half for lunch. And he walked up to me today after 1st period and asked if he was allowed to go to tutorials with me and I was just like no there's so many people who have to make up their test PLUS its only Algebra and he's in regular math so he couldn't go but then we met up about half way through the second half and he hung out with me and Isaac. (Although it sucked because they both wore their Cowboys shirts and I am a CLEAR Texans fan and they did it just to mess with me.)

So I walked into ELA today and Kelli goes "Jake asked Laura when she wont be busy" and I was just like why and she goes i dont know but he will NOT stop texting her. And I go ,i think he likes her because he always says he doesnt have time to text me and she goes oh I know he loves her and I was just like tears in my eyes about to start crying in 2nd period. But I didnt because 1. I didnt want Kelli to know what was going on and 2. If you cry at my school, random strangers you dont even know will ask you whats wrong and try to cheer you up. Its nice but at the same time annoying.

So its Stuff the Bus at school and they keep giving us relaxed dresscode as long as we bring a dollar to donate to M.I. Lewis and I'm here like they are literally BRIBING us to donate, because its a competition between all the schools in the district and they want us to win. I have no problem with bringing a dollar and getting to wear whatever I want but I just think its funny.

Speaking of wearing whatever we want, I wore my favorite black and white tank top/crop top with a blue tank top underneath it today and Alex fucking tells me to stop "dressing like a slut" like what the fuck its not fucking slutty if my mom told me I should wear it and my dad LETS me wear it and my BEST FRIEND who cares more about what people think of me than I do and they all said I should wear it today then is it really slutty? I dont think my parents would let me wear it if it was and I sure as hell KNOW Zalea wouldnt have told me to wear it if it was because she knows if people start calling me shit and judging me I'M gonna start crying and she's gonna be the one to help me and she's gonna be the one that ends up beating up whoever said it and she already hates Alex enough.

And in Spanish Alex goes "I'm not mad at you anymore." Like the fuck? I didnt know she was still fucking mad about something that happened literally SIX days ago like right after it had happened we made up and started talking like we were still best friends, I was still pissed off but you know I thought she wasnt so I let it go in like 10 minutes here we are 6 days later and she says she's not mad no more and that's why she kept ignoring my texts and not talking to me all week shit she probably didnt even read my update from the other day because she was mad.

Anyway that got me mad that she was holding on to that for so long like honestly, and I know Alex, if you read this youre probably just gonna get pissed at me again but this is how I really feel right now and you should probably know. Anyway that day I had also said that she's like best friends with this guy, William, (this was before the fight,) and she goes no I love you you're my best friend like no today I started thinking about it like no I am not her best friend because if I would she wouldnt always be ditching me for her other friends like Amy and William like honestly I dont give a fuck if she wants to hang with them too because they are all friends and I dont like William or Amy at all but I mean seriously it is EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Oh we have a partner project for Spanish? She's with Amy and I'm with some random person I dont even know. Thank god she's not in my damn ELA because if she was, if my class wins the free seating until Thanksgiving break LORD KNOWS she's gonna go sit with William and Yamillie for that entire period. I HAVE NO FRIENDS IN THAT CLASS, sure I have Kelli but she's friends with William and Yamillie and all these people I dont like so she's more likely to sit with them than with me and ONCE AGAIN I'm the loner sitting the back of the class far away from everyone.