It Broke The Fourth Wall

21

I watch from my window at kellins bed,  he's not there but it's 5am so he must have snuck out to see Oliver again.

Oliver

I hate him

He's the reason my best friend, my first love, killed herself. He wouldn't let her be happy with me. Now he's doing the same with my second love.

I've had my eyes on kellin for years now and I know Oliver just met him like a month or two ago. I go into my closet. 

Kellin Quinn Bostwick

I love him so much, his body is perfect. He's perfect. And he's like me, he cuts. I cut, we must be destined to help each other.

He sings so angelic when he thinks he's alone. I trail my fingers over the picture of him naked on his bed touching himself. This is the best picture I have so far. I'm sure he's thinking of me when he pleasures himself.

I get out my notebook filled with facts about him and notes of what he does. I love everything about kellin.

I'm going to try to get him to fall in love with me this weekend.

-

Kellin's pov

-

"Where does she live?" Oli asks as we are walking to the cemetery. I didn't tell him shes there.. he thinks we are walking to her home.. well I guess we are in a way. Where her body lives.

I hold his hand and I stop in front of the black gate. I turn to him and to to kiss him but he's to tall to just kiss unless he binds a little and I get on my tiptoes. So I grab his hair because he didn't get the memo and bring him to me. We kiss before I let go and then open the gate. I hold his hand and go to the back.

He's quite and just looking around a little lost. I bring him to the stones 'Mary Bostwick' 'Andy Bostwick' and 'Lucy Bostwick'.

"I hate my last name.. I always have, so instead of going by Kellin Quinn Bostwick I just go by Kellin Quinn.. this is my mom, brother, and sister," I say pointing at their graves.  I look at him and he wraps his arms around me.

"They died in the car wreck, my dad was drinking and driving.. and yeah.. theys why I'm so scared to be in a car, I get flashes of the accident.  My brother flying out of the windshield breaking the glass that wedged itself into my mom's neck and my sister snapped her neck with all the chaos.." I say holding it together. It's been 6 years.. I need to be open about it and maybe I can get better.

"That's horrible.. but thank you for telling me and letting me meet them."  He says and kisses my forehead before looking at the graves. "Hello, if you can hear me I want you to know I'm your son's boyfriend. I promise I'll protect him with my life. I hope I get to meet you one day far in the future and get to tell you about me and his marriage and lives we lives down here," he says out loud to the tombstone and looking at the sky every now and again.

I hug him and thank him.. he's so sweet. "I hope that happens," I mumble.

-

Oli took me to a restaurant and we ate and talked and I asked him about his parents. He said that they are homophobic so they kicked him out. I got to know his middle name is Scott.

We talked a lot and I'm happy he trusts me. As soon as I got home I put my curtains up and locked my window. Then I checked my room and locked my bedroom door after making sure I was alone. Nobody under my bed, closet, or bathroom. I even looked in my cabinets.. I dont know why I'm just that paranoid.

I take a shower and when I get out and dressed I sit on my bed. "God help me," I mumble into my hands.

When I open my eyes I see 20 dollars on my floor, that wasn't there a second ago. I dont have 20 dollars..