It Broke The Fourth Wall

1

Kellin's pov

Its almost 2am and I'm not sure why I'm awake. My joints burn and ache for no reason. I think I'm fine? I did exercise or anything just a normal day of skipping school, eating, and reading.

This has been happening for a month or two and it bothers me that I dont have a true reason. I can't sleep because I'm in pain. I'm miserable, stretching doesn't even help.

My back hurts constantly but a few months ago while I was at the hospital a doctor took exrays of my stomach and  looked at the picture and then to me and said, "has anyone told you, you have scoliosis?"

When she said that it baffled me. I didn't think I had scoliosis, my back seemed normal. I wasn't a hunch back or anything.  I simply said "no," and she just left.. there wasn't any reassuring that it will be okay. She didn't say how to fix it or anything. But I'm not sure if my back hurts because of scoliosis or because I'm just weird.

I think it's just in my head because its everything that hurts. My toes, legs, knees, hips, back, shoulders, neck. I try stretching again but like every night it doesn't help.

Its Thursday night, or more accurately speaking its Friday morning. My eyes feel tired but my body hurts too bad. I don't think I'm going to school tomorrow. I haven't gone any this week. I'm dropping out so it doesn't really matter.

But, insurance and healthcare are a thing so I'm supposed to be going to school. I need to go to the dentist because my wisdom teeth are coming I can feel the gum in the back of my mouth hurting. 

Wow I sure do complain a lot.. or do I? This is just my thoughts I'm not actually complaining to people.

The only thing I'll miss about school is Vic Fuentes. He's my crush you see, but he doesn't know I exist. Typical thing for a fanfic I know but gets even more common. He's my neighbor.

If this was a fanfic story on wattpad it would go to his point of view and saw he really does like me and I'm just unaware. But no, he really doesn't know I exist.  I've had 3 classes with him in my whole life (none currently)  but he sits in the back corner and so do I.. on the opposite side.

So he's never been in a position just to turn and talk to me. Not that he would, he doesn't talk much I'm class. Neither do I, well I dont talk at all I'm 3 of my classes and my 1 other class I say about a sentence a day to the teacher.

This is going to sound super weird but vic's window doesn't have a curtain and I could totally spy on him if I wanted to.  I dont though.. well I dont spy on him, I cant say I dont want to.

Okay anyways I felt weird about 2 years ago when he moved in about accidentally spying on him so I bought a pink curtain and hung it up so now I dont see him.

My room is very pink and random, I have video game posters, record's, and random things hanging on my pink walls. I have a pink bedspread and a black and pink rug. I'm not really into on aesthetic I'm pretty random.

I do own girl clothes but never wear them at school, I dont draw to much attention there because I have bad anxiety. 

I get on wattpad and read some fanfiction, this one that I'm reading I'd calls The Deal and it's about some boy making a deal with a demon of lust... the plot line is spot on... okay I just read it for the hard core demon fucking smut. 

As I read I imagine that I'm the boy and vic is that demon. I blush and try to not get turned on as I read this. Geeze there must really be something wrong with me. I'm obsessing over his boy for about a year now and he's never once talked to me and I only think once we made eye contact but that was for a second because I was put on the spot by a teacher and everyone was looking at me but I happen to look at vic.