It Broke The Fourth Wall

18

Warmth

our body's are close under the blankets.

That's the first feeling I wake up too. Next is the feeling of contentment.

I open my eyes and see Oliver. His eyes are closed and he looks relaxed. In his sleep he looks pretty. I know people don't look at guys like him and think pretty but I do. Yes I do think hot, sexy, mysterious, and all of those other things but I think he is pretty, beautiful, amazing and cute.

The third feeling I feel is happy.

I feel happy that this gorgeous human being likes me enough to be my boyfriend. He likes me enough to talk to me multiple times a day and see me often.

He's there for me when I need him. I don't know what love is, so I'm going to settle with I really like this guy names Oliver Sykes. Maybe one day I'll say I love him. Of course when I know for a fact that I'm in love with him and not just loving these feelings he makes me feel.

I do love being around him so maybe that's the first step. Love; that's a weird word. I love doughnuts, candy, cake, music, and lots of things. It's no big deal that I love those things. Yet I've never loved before. Maybe I'm overthinking this? Maybe I do love Oliver, just not in love yet.

Okay that kinda makes sense, I love him I'm just not in love. That's what really likes mean to not confused people. But I like my friends, and I dont get these weird feelings towards them. My stomach is tied in knots my stomach's in a swirl. Do you get that feeling but just really liking someone or are those feelings of love?

How am I supposed to know theses things? Do I need to know these things? No, not right now at least.  I play with Oliver's hair softly.

I don't like parties but I still went to one past night. Got drugged and then ended up in Oliver's room. I don't remember a lot from last night, just how big and annoying vic's smile was and then Oli picking me up, and ew, me throwing up.

Oliver, Oliver Sykes, Oli, I love his name. I like everything about it, it sounds so... him. What's his middle name? Did I ask him before? I should find him on Instagram and stalk him a bit. In a boyfriend manner not creepy at all.

Not yet, I'm still having a moment of peace and comfort. I trail my fingers lightly through his hair. I admire his face for a minute before he slowly wakes up. He doesn't immediately get up he just slowly opens his eyes and looks up at me.

His mouth is lightly parted and he looks at me with a look I cant name. He closes his mouth but continues to look at me. It's not a creepy moment. We are just looking at each other.

The moment leave as oli moves forward making another moment.  His lips press against mine and I know I'll never forget this moment. How it feels to be wanted.

I move my lips against his, his hand caressing my face as he deepens the kiss. Oli's tongue slides into my own mouth and I move myself so I'm straddling his hips.

He pulls away to breath, my lips are alone without his but his soon return. Only to be pulled away a second later, then to my jaw. He trails kisses down to my collarbone and then he sucks on my pail skin and I try to not to make embarrassing noises.

He has sat up and placed his hand my thigh and the other around me to help keep me up in place. All this has gotten me turned on so I kiss him passionately and he returns the same enthusiasm. He flips us over so I'm on my back and him on top of me and we go back to making out.

I want his shirt off but I'm to nervous to. I don't want him to expect all our clothes to come off.. I don't want him to think this is leading to sex. He takes off me shirt and then sits up and takes off his shirt.