The Good Wife

Harsh Reality

Aamna

I have knocked on the door of office of college . I entered in office after gaining permission.

"Sir, when I'll get my scholarship?"

"Your name?" clerk asked without looking at me. He was busy in paperwork.

"Aamna"

"Full name?"

"Aamna Rahman Ali, student of first year MBBS."

"Any fund in your name hasn't passed  till now." he said in a bored tone.

"Sir, could you tell me when it will allocated?"

"Ask to students affairs department and don't bother me further " irritation is present in his voice. His behaviour was disheartening but I have no other option.

I went to students affairs department and concerned personality hasn't arrived today. It took two days to me to arrange a meeting which doesn't turned out futile. I was going to various offices to find out a single information. I was running behind various person to attain two minutes of them. System of this country is very tiring and insensitive for a person with no connections. It creates frustration and disappointment.

I am on the verge of crying, I need this money to survive in Delhi. I sold all my ornaments  which Ammi gave  me to pay  the admission fee. Few thousands I kept safe for emergency. I have no money to pay day to day expense. I never thought life will be this difficult. I thought once I clear NEET everything will fall on place.

"Allah, what I'll do now? Please help me." I hide my face under my knees. I tried but tears start falling from my eyes. I'll lose this once in a life chance because of cash crunch. Sobs escaped from me and I garnered attention of students passing by. I don't care about them. I don't care what they think of me. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked above. A middle aged man standing there with concern.

"Bitiya (daughter), what is the problem?" he asked softly and fresh tears escaped from my eyes. After so many harsh treatment, I received one sentence of understanding. This overwhelmed me. That man offered me a water bottle and I drank immediately.

"I am Ranjeet Singh, head of the department of students affairs. You can tell me your problem. I'll try my best to solve your issue." he assured me and took me to his office. I explained my problems regarding scholarship.

I didn't share my financial problems with him. Its not his job. All he can do is allotting scholarship. 

" Don't feel dishearten Aamna but you won't receive  scholarship till  mid or end of the year."

Questions immediately arrived in my mind. Is there is problem in my application? My qualification isn't enough? Am I not eligible?

Probably he read my mind so he continued " Its a  long  process. First a student have to apply for scholarship which I think you  already did." he asked and I nodded.

"Last date of application is still one month away. Then all application will be scrutinized by department of minority affairs. I just hope your  application will be accepted by department. After that a list of eligible candidate will be prepared. After that department release fund and we receive funds to allot our student. "he explained full procedure and now I clearly received the message. I have to arrange money from somewhere else. This money is no use till next year.

" Thank you so much, sir, you explained clear picture to me. "I replied politely.

" I have one suggestion for you"he said when I was leaving. Ray of hope flashes in me and I was ready to listen his suggestion. May be it help me.

"What is it, sir?"

"Banks are giving education loans upto 15 lac. If you are in need of money you can apply there." he suggested.

"Thank you so much sir for suggestion. I'll think about it." I replied and left his office. After talking to him many things are clear in my mind.

Although I am hesitant to this loan thing, I decided to opt this option. It felt legitimate option to me to take a loan from an institute instead of a random person. It somewhere feel wrong and against my belief but I don't have other options. I can't contact to Abba and Ammi (father&mother) and demand money. I can't worsen the situation for them. I created havoc in their life by my actions. I can't trouble them more. I am a grown up woman and have to act up like that. I need to take responsibility on my shoulder.

Today is monday and I decided to skip my classes. Karuna will keep me update to today's development. I dressed up in my best clothes. I need to look decent to create a good impression on bank manager. Its my first experience at bank. When I lived in Hisar, Abba managed all this. I noticed everything closely. There is different cubicles like inquiry, pass book printing, locker facility, cash deposit and withdrawal and many more. At side wall there is board indicating various schemes of bank.

I arrived at 12 in the noon and its 1 now. There  is long queue for approval of loan outside manager's cabin.  This unsettled my guts. I need to compete this people or may be not. No one is look like a student but they can be parents. Thousands of thoughts running in my mind. Will I get it or not? If not what will I do?
There is sweat on my palm in the air conditioned hall of bank. Its already 2 in the noon and my stomach start churning. I hadn't ate anything since morning. I left campus without eating anything due to anticipation.

Finally at 3 my number came and within fifteen minutes I came out with few more forms. Manager seems to be very busy man to me. I uttered just 'students loan' and he gave me forms and table number to discuss further issue. At that table a guy in his mid twenty explaining calmly about something to other guy. This relaxed me to some extent. He explained me everything about paper work. Everything is easy except one. I need consent of one of my parent for this which looks next to impossible.

"Allah, how can I do that?" I sighed. I sat in bus after purchasing ticket to the campus bus stop. There is a romantic song playing in speaker of bus. Life looks very easy in films, reality is very different. Mirza Ghalib said right "Aur bhi gum hai zamane mai muhabbat k siva"