nyctophilia | j.jk ✔️

1|9|Unconditionally Yours

1|9| Unconditionally Yours

Previously:

"Let's just say that I favour you," I gave him a small smile and he gave me one in return, making my insides warm and fluttery.

If what I'm feeling is what I think it is... then I'm in deep trouble.

Presently:

I later learnt that it was a shock for the others because Jungkook had never got a wound on his job before. I remembered his telling me that he is a professional who does his job perfectly and thus he doesn't get wounds.

Jin had forced him to stay home; grumbling and unwilling, but still listening to Jin, he did as he was told. Since I rarely got out of the house because it posed a threat to my life, I found the two of us sharing awkward silence in front of the TV which blared on about a show neither of us were interested in one afternoon.

It has been about two months since I had entered their world and the last days of winter had passed to turn into a bright, lilting spring. The garden outside was full of beautiful, colourful flowers but I was stuck inside with a man who seemed to solely wear white and black. What a monochrome world...

"Do you mind if I change the channel?" I asked him, waving the remote in my hand when he glanced at me from the corner of my eyes.

"Nope," he answered, seemingly indifferent. I surfed a while until I reached a channel which was showing an animated movie- Inside Out, for that matter. "Are you really going to watch that?"

"Is there a problem?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "It's a good movie and there's nothing else better."

"Hm... Wanna play video games with me?" He asked, standing up and walking over to the table beneath the TV and crouching to remove two game consoles from the drawer.

"I, uh, have never played video games," I said to him as he quickly made the necessary changes and the TV screen now showed a race-course with two cars.

"It's just timepass, doesn't matter," he shrugged so I decided to shrug it off too. Car races can't be that bad...

After my fifth spectacular loss, I dropped the console and leaned against the backrest of the couch, letting my head fall on top of it.

"You aren't that bad," if this was Jungkook's way of consoling me, I didn't need it.

"I know, I'm just bored," I admitted to him. "I actually lied. I went to an arcade with my classmates for a picnic once and I couldn't wait to leave half-way through. I don't know why, but playing video games bores me..."

"Or maybe you've not played you type?" Jungkook suggested and crawled to the drawer on his knees to pull out other video games. "How about zombies? Or would you like a shooting game? Martial arts? We have all different types of fighting games."

"I don't like fights," I said to him, amused because he was trying to find something that suited me. "It's okay, I don't mind watching you play. Go on, you can play alone!"

"What will you do then?" He asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"I want to bake some cookies," I shrugged. I stood up and went into the empty kitchen. Jin had gone for work because they had a deal to make with some other gang and Namjoon was currently off on a weapons deal mission with Yoongi.

Yoongi reminded me of the last few weeks when Ji-soo and I had started our self-defense classes under him. He was a good teacher but seemed a bit uncomfortable teaching us (probably either because we are girls, or Hoseok must have threatened him or something to be nice with Ji-soo).

I wasn't particularly bad at it, in fact, Yoongi said I was doing good but I wasn't so confident in myself. I was thinking about the last few lessons as I made the cookie dough. I could hear Jungkook's groans and whoops from the large living room on the other side of the wall in front of me. Well he is happy...

Smiling to myself, I worked hard for two hours and when I looked at my final piece of work, I was happy. I put them all in a large bowl and went outside to find the screen black and Jungkook asleep on the couch, curled up into himself at one end.

The sight made me smile and my heart drummed a steady but fast beat as I sat beside him. I placed the bowl on the small table in front of the couch and turned to face him. He seemed fast asleep and I couldn't help myself but touch the locks of ebony hair that had flopped on his forehead. I moved them out of the way and nearly jumped in my seat when his face turned and pressed onto the palm of my hand, now facing me in his sleep.

"Do you know what it means to love someone unconditionally?" I spoke softly in a way, half wanting him to listen, the other half begging him to be in a very deep sleep. "It means that no matter what happens, what changes, you will still love the other person. And I hope one day, you will find someone you can feel that for, because you probably won't feel that for me. But it so happens, that I think I may love you like that. I might just be yours unconditionally..."

My voice drifted off towards the end but Jungkook didn't show any signs of being awake so I assumed that he had really not heard any of it. Slightly disappointed yet relieved, I stood up and tried to remove my hand from his soft cheek but his head pressed against my hand so it was now trapped between his head and the backrest of the couch.

I didn't want to wake him up so I ended up just sitting there, one hand cupping the side of his face, the other flipping the pages of the book sitting in my lap that I read.

It was 6:30 in the evening when he finally woke up and I was nearing the end of the book when I felt movement against my hand. I looked at it to find Jungkook staring at my hand blearily and sleepily. I removed it and his eyes followed the movement before he looked at my face and then his eyes were wide and awake. I blushed at what he must be thinking I was doing so I quickly placed both my hands in my lap and gave him a smile.

"Um, did you have a good sleep?" I asked him gently.

"Yeah, I thought I had a good pillow but turns out it was your hand," he was blushing and his ear were red. "Sorry about that. It must have been uncomfortable to keep it there."

"That's okay," I smiled as I stretched my entire arm to hear a crick from my shoulder. "If you slept well, that's all that matters. Oh, cookies?"

He picked one up and looked at me with a mollified gaze for a few seconds before finally saying, "Thank you. You're really nice to me, but I don't think I deserve that. I kill people, remember?"

"That doesn't mean you don't deserve good," I replied, swallowing my own chewed cookie. "You said that killing makes you feel liberated, that it gives you the sense that you've helped the world by removing a cruel human from it. But at the end of the day, you're just a normal man who eats cookies and plays video games with his family.

"Everyone deserves happiness, Jungkook-ah," I said warmly, placing my hand on his. "Even you. We deserve warmth, love and good things. What we get may not be that, but if we try hard, we will find ourselves surrounded by those who will willingly give you all that. I'm sure Bangtan means a lot to you, and that these men are the closest thing to a loving family for you- and now Ji-soo and I are a part of it too. So please think of us as one of you and don't hesitate to ask anything from me. I will gladly try my best to help you in any way I can."

Jungkook suddenly pulled me in for a hug and I automatically wrapped my hands around his torso. He didn't say a word and just stayed like that, but I felt like he was trying to put his words and feelings into that hug.

He let go after a few minutes and looked at me with this deep look in his chocolate eyes and said, "Thank you for being a part of my family."

"Thank you for letting me be a part of it!"

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Updated/Published On:
6th July 2020
06/07/2020