Smoke Rising: Book III

Chapter Fifty-Five

Chapter Fifty-Five

We stop once it gets dark and find a flat spot in the forest to set up our tent. I make a small fire, and after warming ourselves, Ross turns in for the night, and I stay by the fire, knowing exactly what I have to do.

I close my eyes and pull myself into the Shadowlands, hoping I do this right. The black smoke rolls around me in a thick fog as far as I can see. Pivoting on my foot, I make sure I'm alone. Though, I don't know why I wouldn't be.

"Eli," I call out, trying to summon him. "Eli, I need to talk to you."

I wait one minute, then two. Two minutes turns to five, and I begin calling out for him again.

"Eli, I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye." I start, hoping he hear me wherever he is. I've never done this, I only know that they can sense the call. But they can still ignore it. "I want you to know that I love you Eli. I've always loved you."

"I love you too," Eli says, but he not in the Shadowlands.

My eyes fly open and I look over my shoulder to find him standing just a few feet away between two trees.

My heart leaps as I do, and I run to him, throwing my arms around him.

Our lips collide, and I'm filled with regret and guilt, love and hope all at the same time.

"Im sorry," I say as soon as I come up for air.

"No," he shakes his head. "I'm sorry. I've been so worried about losing you I didn't realize I was pushing you away. That's why I'm here, to support you and be there for you, no matter what your plans or how much magic you have."

I kiss him again, letting my eyes close. My fingers get tangled in his long black hair, my body pressed against his as my stomach flutters.

But then I remember Mateo, and I stop, pulling apart from him. "I kissed Mateo," I blurt, admitting the truth. Ive never been good at keeping secrets from him, but usually it's because he pries them out of me. Now it seems he barely has to try.

His grip loosens around my waist, his eyes swelling with anger. But it fades almost as quickly as it comes.

"I thought he was dead," I add, trying to recover. "And I think my love for him as a friend got mixed up with my relief that he was alive, and I wanted to give him what he wanted, but I love you, Eli. It's always been you."

Eli swallows so hard, I can see his throat bob. "I understand," he nods, and I can feel how hard it is for him to be understanding. It's just the way he is. He gets people. It's one of the many reasons I love him. But it doesn't prevent the feelings of betrayal pouring out of him now. It's so strong, it makes me feel like I've betrayed myself... and maybe I have. "But you're not confused anymore?" He asks, a sad smile climbing its way onto his lips.

"No," I shake my head.

"And you don't need space to figure out who you are?" The smile grows larger. That was the first reason I broke up with him, but it wasn't completely true.

"Definitely not." I smile back. "I know who I am, what I want, and who I want."

The betrayal fades, only lingering slightly as it's replaced by love. "Thank the stars," he kisses me hard, pulling me so close I can't breathe. But I welcome the lack of oxygen.

****

Thankfully, Eli brought a car. He parked it on the side of the street next to the forest. He pulls back the chairs and folds the back half of the SUV into a bed, though we only have two sleeping bags.