Smoke Rising: Book III

Chapter Forty-Two*

Chapter Forty-Two

I watch Eli sleep for a long time before I dare to get up. When I slowly worm my way out of his arms, he begins to stir. By the time I'm on my feet, he's back asleep. The first thing I do is take a shower. If there was a tub in this tiny little bathroom, I'd take a bath. The absence of one makes me wish we were back in Eli's old sector with Blue. But that's her base now, to do whatever with she pleases. That was the deal we made when we took this sector, which I understand. That's where she grew up. That's home. But I still wish we had living quarters a little larger. This commander did not live in style or comfortably.

I think being being a prized soldier and the a royal princess may have spoiled me a bit. But I'd still take the comfort of our tiny little two bedroom cabin any day of the week. If it hadn't burnt to the ground.

I scrub every inch of my body, trying to wash whatever grime these Shadows have left on me. Today I free myself of what numbs me the most. At least, that's what Eli believes is going to happen. Even if he's right and the power is driving me a little crazy, I don't know if just giving it away will reverse the damage it's done. I know Nicholi was forever changed.

He was less... awful. But maybe he was only awful because the first time we met in person, I was planning to kill him. I suppose that isn't the best way to start a good father-daughter relationship. Maybe if I had been less judgmental of him. Everything I knew and believed about my father came from my mother, and she did not have the best experience with him—at least towards the end she didn't. Maybe if I hadn't of listened to her, had reached out to him when I was younger, maybe he would have been more welcoming and less give-me-all-your-magic-or-I'll-kill-your-sister.

I have to remember that he still forced me to kill Eli, even if Eli didn't stay dead. He still used my little sister against me, even if he ended up letting her go. And he still took away my magic, even if he offered to let me keep some of it and stay with him.

After I give away half this magic, maybe I can still remember the bad parts of him, the ones that will let me stay angry at him.

But I don't know how I'm going to stay mad at Mateo. Just the sound of his name in my thoughts brings a wave of emotions I can't even process right now. So I shut them out as soon as they come, and turn off the steamy hot water.

I step out of the shower and wrap myself in towels. When I step back out into the room, Eli is gone, so I begin to get dressed. A black long sleeved shirt a size too large and a pair of long cargo pants. Ive never been one for dresses, but sometimes I wish I had something a little more exciting than these bland, boring soldier clothes to wear.

Eli returns with two cups of hot coffee, and the world begins to feel brighter already.

"Morning," he smiles at me, handing me the coffee. "Huxley and Ella are waiting for you downstairs."

"Ella?" I don't want her to be there. She doesn't need to see this.

"Come on," he holds out my hand to take. I hesitate, but after a moment I let my fingers slide into his.

At the bottom of the stairs, Eli hold open the door for me. When I step through, Ella and Huxley sit on a wooden bench shoved against the wall of the small but open lobby. She jumps to her feet as soon as she see's me, and very matter of fact walks over to meet me half-way.