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It was getting harder and harder each day.The more days passed by the weaker my self-confidence became.It felt as if I was doing everything wrong.As if my opinions, feelings, thoughts, didn't matter to anyone but me.I felt as if I was just some rag doll for people to pin, throw around and make fun of.
Since the day me and John made our relationship public all I've gotten was hate.I expected it.I knew that dating a celebrity had its own consequences.One of those was mostly hate.But the hate I got was plain cruel.
Everyday I would open my social media apps I was flooded with people hating on my appearance and personality.It came to the point that I had to disable my social medias.
Whenever I would meet Johnny's friends, or basically anyone, I'd receive sympathetic glances.Everyone knew about the hate I was getting.Well except one person.Johnny.
He was oblivious to the cruel mean and hateful comments I received each day.He didn't pay much attention to social media at all.
I didn't doubt his love for me.I could never.But I felt so down and empty constantly, and I knew he wasn't there to comfort me.
The slam of the door shook me out of my thoughts.My eyebrows furrowed as I made my way downstairs.There, on the sofa, was sitting Johnny.With his back facing me, I noticed his body shaking.And that's when he let out a sob.
I sat down on the sofa next to him.I put my hand on his back and he flinched.I widened my eyes, a little taken aback, but nevertheless I crouched in front of him and took his shaking pale hands in mine.
"Baby what's wrong?"
He looked at me with his emerald green eyes filled with tears.He shook his head and pulled me in for a hug.I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck knowing how much hugs calmed him down.As I was hugging him I heard him start muttering words in my ear.
"God y/n I'm sorry.So sorry.I'm such a horrible b-boyfriend.Y-you're too good for m-me.I c-can't forgive m-myself.What I d-did was-"
"Johnny baby what are you sorry about?"I cut him off, pulling back so I could see his face.
Suddenly more tears started to appear in my boyfriend's eyes.
"The hate y/n.T-the hate you f-fucking get everyday.I'm such a shitty human being for not realizing what was happening.I don't deserve you.For fuck's sake you've probably been so sad and I wasn't there to fucking comfort you.I'm so sorry my baby but please, please I beg you don't leave me"his voice going down to a whisper at his last sentence.
I felt my heart shatter at the sight of the boy in front of me.Tears streaming down his face as his eyes stared right at mine.I felt tears well up in my own eyes.Out of instinct, I threw my arms again around his neck and hugged him even tighter than before, straddling his lap in the process.
"I would never leave you baby.No matter how much I hurt these past few months the thought of leaving you never even crossed my mind.I would be nothing without you babe and you know it.I'm just so in love with you and I'm sorry for not telling you earlier about the hate.I just thought I could handle it on my own."
He nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck and whispered loud enough for me to hear him.
"I don't want you to hide stuff from me baby.Whatever is bothering you you're gonna tell me and we're gonna bother about it together alright?"
I nodded and placed a gentle kiss to his temple.
"I love you so much y/n and sorry for being an oblivious littleshit."
"It's okay baby.I love you too."
A/N
heyo.um i dont exactly like the way this ended but ay better than nthng.so i start school in a week and im not ready.emotionally ready.i just wanna sleep all day long and only leave my room to get food.*sigh*
"Every time you walk into the room Got me feeling crazy"
