EPILOGÍ 'The Choice' (Mature; 18+)

Chapter 19 - Blood

They say that the truth hurts. Well, as for me, the truth will hurt only if it did not come from me. And yes, it's one big blow to my gut and the pain is so strong right now it consumes me. I planned to tell them but why does it have to be like this.

Tag came up to me, box in hand and a pained look on his face. "What does this mean Rachelle?" His voice in rage as he lifts the box up.

"Why is that with you?" I asked in a whisper. I'm trying to hold back all tears. I don't want anymore to fall.

"Tag, you don't have to do this. She doesn't deserve this." Gage speaks up beside me.

"I don't deserve this either! We," pointing at the four of them, "don't deserve this! You're fucking engaged Rachelle." He pointed back to me. Kayne and Rob still behind him not knowing what to do.

"Stop it Tag you don't know a thing about her!" Gage stood up seething.

"And you do?" Tag now facing his brother. "You think you do Gage? Why? Did she let you fuck her too? Like she let Kayne go down on her. And Rob kiss her."

Gage flew in and swung a fist at his older brother. Tag fell on the floor and the box flung open spilling its contents on the wooden floor.

I gathered my strength up and picked up Paul's pictures, and perfume, and my ring. Rob came down and helped me. "I'm sorry Rachelle." He said softly.

Kayne jump between his raging brothers. "Stop! Please just stop!" He screamed at them holding a fuming Tag to the wall as he tried to get back at Gage.

Gage is now behind me helping me up. "Get to your room I'll handle them." He said.

"No Gage, they need to know. It's better coming from me."

"Rachelle please." Rob said. "Maybe now's not the time."

I moved away from them, trying to gather my thoughts. It's either I do not tell them, lose them. Or tell them, and still lose them. Either way, I feel defeated.

"Stop stringing us along and tell us what this is!" Tag is now a little calm but fury is still in his eyes.

How have I come to this?

I, never in a million years, have thought that I would be in this position. Lord knows I tried so hard to forget and get a fresh start. My heart still aches, but now it even hurts more. Losing someone.... no, losing everyone, is bound to happen to me once more. It's not so long ago when I have lost everyone in my life, and I don't want it to happen again.

Their eyes bore into me like heavy daggers, but still yearning and pleading. The youngest appeals, "Rachelle, please."

My thoughts are clouded, a single tear falls down my cheek. I lift my head to the heavens pleading God for help. I never wanted this to happen. All I wanted was to move away from the past, to start again, to live again. But I'm caught up in this mess I can't run away from. I just can't.

They stride towards me, dead set on their plan. I bow my head trying to hide the tears that are about to burst and step back nudging my heel on the wall behind me. There is no escape. I can feel their eyes on me. I lift my head to see them in front of me. They all look me in the eye. "Now you choose. One of us? Or none at all."

"Fuck no, Tag!" Gage screamed at him. "She doesn't have to fucking choose."

"You need to calm down. You're not thinking clear man." Kayne butt in.

"I just spent one of the best nights of my life with her. With an engaged woman. Who is also involved with my brothers? How the fuck do you want me to think?" Tag said to his brother.

"He's dead." I yelled out still clutching our box to my chest. Gage pinched the bridge of his nose. This is not how we wanted this to go down. His brothers looked at me confused.

I took a deep breath. "He died. Together with everyone in my life." I saw Tag mouthed 'What' towards Gage and rubbed his face up and down vigorously. Rob's mouth was just hung open. Kayne put his hand up shaking his head.

"It was my wedding day." I continued. The calmness of the forest when I told Gage everything soothed me as I recalled what happened that dreadful day. But now with how everything laid out with the others, all the pain comes rushing down on me. "Everyone was there, Paul, my family, his family, our friends, every fucking person in my life was there."

Tag looked down and blew out a heavy sigh as he balls his fists in anger, maybe to himself. No word from them as they wait for me to continue.

"I was running late, and they were just waiting for me. The car parked in front of the church and just before I stepped out," I looked away and shut my eyes hard as I fight away tears. "It all blew up." My voice cracked.

"I lost consciousness and when I woke up, there was so much blood. The church was in flames, bodies everywhere, sirens wailing around me. Everyone's dead." I can't fight the tears anymore. "Everyone I love, every single one of them. Dead." I slid down the wall as I breakdown in front of them.

"For months, I grieved on my own. So many times, I tried to take my own life. If only I had not been late that day, maybe I don't have to go through all the pain. Maybe I'd be dead too.

"It was so hard. I don't have anyone to turn to. The people around me are either filled with sympathy or are blaming me for what happened. I survived while everyone died. The police reports tagged it as an accident. A gas leak in the church's basement they said. But people still blamed me.

"I grew tired of their fake sympathies and incessant blaming, so I packed up my stuff.  I can't live in a house where I planned to spend the rest of my life happy with Paul, a house where I pictured my own family would be, there's just no point when all my dreams faded away together with the ashes of everyone I loved.

"I sold the house and drove up here to start fresh, a place where no one knows me, no one to judge me and no one to blame me. Now you know I have lied the day I met all of you. I wanted to keep things the way they were. At first, it was overwhelming, Eric and Lily made me feel like I have a mom and dad again. You guys were clear evidence that I, despite how broken I was, can feel again.

"You all caught me in my most vulnerable state. I wanted to feel loved, wanted someone to care for me, and you guys were there. I grew selfish, yes, I wanted you all. I did not stop any of your advances, God I even initiated. But I can't help it. The longing of having someone again consumed me.

"I've been too numb it feels like I died in that church that day. But you guys are bringing me back to life. I realized how selfish I was and so I did not want to lie to all of you anymore. Yesterday when Jason arrived I was about to tell you everything. I planned to come clean to all of you because I know I can ruin your brotherhood if I continue this.

"You guys are all I have. If I could have forced Eric and Lily to stay, I would have. But now it's just us. In the small time I had with all of you, I felt what I needed to feel and I understand if you would hate me right now. Who wouldn't?" The awful pain in my heart is crushing me.

We were all silent. A few minutes have passed and my tears have dried. Tag still on the floor, Gage rested on the wall across Tag, Rob now on the couch, and Kayne still between Gage and Tag. No one said a word.

I grew tired of the silence and stood up, our box still in hand. "I did not come here to destroy all of you. I'm sorry it has come to this." I said as I head up the stairs to my room.