"God your eyes are so beautiful it actually hurts me to look at them because I know at some point I will have to look away," she snaps her attention over to me, which is when I realise I just said that out loud.
*TRIGGER WARNING* - anxiety attacks...
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Billie's P.O.V
we all sat in the living room area pretty much in silence, you could have cut the tension with a knife. I felt them all looking at me, trying not me make it obvious. that was except for Rory who spent the entire time looking out of the window.
I studied the features on her face, I could tell she was thinking about something because every now and again she would scrunch up her nose, or slightly shake her head.
I knew I was slowly but surely going to strip every last piece of her freedom away and I just don't think I can bear to watch it. even more so when its for nothing, because just like mike said, there is no way my label will let it happen.
I didn't want to just sit here in silence so I stood up and walked to the toilet muttering a 'don't follow me' as I went. I closed the door, forgetting to lock it, and sat on the floor resting my head in my knees, unable to fight back the tears.
Rory's P.O.V
I couldn't just let her walk away like that, because it felt like she was walking away from so much more than a couch full of people. I stood up and Finneas gave me a what are you doing sort of look.
"I can't let her do this to herself, she doesn't deserve it," I walk away before he has time to answer. I look in her bunk, and the kitchen and can't find her anyway. I decide to go the he toilet before I continue looking.
as I approach the bathroom, I hear a soft sniffling a twist the handle, expecting it to be locked. But it cracked open revealing billie curled up in a ball.
I knelt down next to her, pulling her head into my chest, stroking her hair.
"I'm sorry," she said in between sniffling. She looked up and and I took my thumb, wiping away the tears from her cheeks.
"Billie its not your fault, none of this is your fault," I whisper, just loud enough so she could hear.
"It is, if I just, I dont know........ I should just never have dragged you into this," she cried harder, and it made my heat physically ache.
"Billie, listen its not your fault. We don't need to be out to the world. We can hide it, none of that matters to me. The only thing that matters is that I'm with you," I give her a sad smile.
"What if they try and put me in a PR relationship, or say we can't be together at all," she scrunched up her eyebrows.
"Well its a good thing I can throw a punch," we both let out small, almost nervous laughs.
We just sit, her head buried into my chest, both deep in thoughts of how we could never really.
"I just wish a was a nobody," she said so quiet, I almost wondered as if it were to herself.
"What do you mean?" I ask, staring into space.
"I wish no body knew who I was. So I could hold your hand in front of a crowd of people and no one cares at all. I just wish I was a nobody,"
"You don't Billie, I mean it's flattering,that you would do that. But you love being who you are, and you love making people feel like its okay to be them. Plus you have literally saved peoples lives being who you are," the words that were coming out of my mouth surprised even me.
"I know, I just feel like part of who I am is being true to my self and my fans. I feel like this is going against that," she seemed slightly less sad now.
"I'm sorry Bil," I said, kissing the top of her head.
She turned to we were facing each other and stared into my eyes. "God why do you have to be so perfect," she said showing no emotion.
She just sat there for a second, zoned out them she leaned in and connected our lips, God her lips are nothing less than that of an angel.
___
We both walked back over to the couch, holding pinkie's. We sat down and everyone talked about random stuff.
"Hey, I was thinking that seeing as I don't really do anything to help, maybe I could design a few mercy pieces about the tour. You don't have to use them but it will make good use of my time," I said nervous to what Billie and everyone else world of say.
"That would be awesome, it would be mercy that gave people a real feel about a world tour, its genius," Finneas said as if a had just come up with the cure for global warming.
Billie had a smile plastered all over her face as I raised an eyebrow, trying to prompt a response.
Instead she leaned over and put me in a headlock gently stuffing up my hair. God she smelt of vanilla.
"I'm so proud of my little nugget," she said letting me go and planting a kiss on my cheek, that sent shivers down my spine.
A/N
Sorry for not updating yesterday I was ill and still am
