Sincerely, Niall [z.h.] ✔

Saturday June 8, 2013

Dear Zayn, 

     I apologize in advance if there are any tear splotches on this paper, but I can't help but cry right now. I guess you don't really know why I'm crying, huh? Well I'll tell you. Remember how I said I'd go to the store today and buy food? Well I actually stuck to that and made a trip down to the grocery story. It was fairly busy when I got there, but I didn't mind. It was actually quite nice to have people smile at me as I passed them in the aisles. I smiled back, even though I really didn't feel like smiling. 

      Anyway, I got to aisle eight, the one with the pasta noodles and the big garbage bags you always hated by that one brand-Basic if I remember correctly. When I got there my heart stopped. It was you, I swear. I saw you, reaching for a box of bow tie noodles all the way on the top shelf. I didn't think then, I just did. I ran towards you and threw my arms around your waist and cried. I forgot that you had left me for fifty-eight days. I forgot that there was a possibility that you didn't love me anymore. I forgot that things would probably change between us if you came home. For that moment I had you back, and I knew I'd never let you go again. 

      You tensed up when I hugged you, wetting your shirt with my tears and snot. I kept mumbling your name over and over, like it was some kind of chant. Somehow between my tears I heard you say "um, okay then." And I was so confused, but at that time I didn't care because you were back in the flesh and blood. And then someone spoke up from behind me. 

     It was a girl, and she said, "why are you hugging my boyfriend?" And I know right then that my heart had completely shattered. All those possibilities had been true; you had found someone else to love. You didn't love me anymore. So I just started crying harder and harder because I had you right here, yet you didn't love me. I had lost you, and to a girl. 

     But suddenly you were pulling me gently away from you, with a confused look on your face. My body went ridgid before collapsing all together. You nearly dropped me, but somehow you managed to keep me off the floor. You and that girl started to argue about what to do with me. The girl wanted you to walk away and leave me, but you insisted that you couldn't. I honestly couldn't care less if you left me there or not. Maybe just walking away would have been better. 

     That one glimpse of you absolutely killed me. My heart had not only been shattered, but put together again and thrown in the garbage disposal, then stomped on by an elephant. When I had looked up at your face, all I saw was a stare to show me that you had no clue who I was. I was confused myself until it suddenly dawned upon me. This wasn't you. This was a complete stranger who had striking features similar to yours. 

     I cried in that man's arms for at least another ten minutes-it's hard to tell time when you're busy crying-before I was finally able to calm down. And even then I had snot dripping down my nose and sniffles every two seconds. The man was very patient and caring and rubbed my back and whispered sweet things to me until I had completely calmed down. He asked me what my name was and I told him, a shaky "Niall." He smiled as me before asking if I could stand. 

     After that he helped me to my feet and wiped my tears away. The girl had stormed off a while ago after the man refused to just leave me crying in the aisle. "Well, Niall," he had said, "I think you mistook me for someone you know-Zayn, I think it was you said. I'm sorry, but my name is not Zayn. I'm Nathan. Now could you tell me, did Zayn do this to you?" He pointed to my bruises on my arms, one arm still on mine to hold me steady. 

      I told him no several times because you hadn't done it to me, but when he asked who did it, I couldn't tell him because I honestly didn't know who had done it. He didn't seem to believe me, but he didn't say anything further about it. Then he asked me if there was anyone he could call to come pick me up. I gave Louis' number and then ran off to the bathroom to cry some more as he called my friend. Our friend. 

      And that's where I am now, sitting in the bathroom stall bawling my eyes out as I write this letter to you. Louis is bound to arrive at some time, but I don't care. I just had my heart broken again. So, overall, this shopping trip was a bust, and I wish I had never come. I wish I hadn't gone into that aisle. I wish that I could just take this day back. 

     Louis has just arrived and is calling for me here in the bathroom. I've got to go. 

I love you, Zayn. 

Sincerely, 

Niall