Addicted (Dylan O'Brien)

Chapter 62

Authors Note:

Hey lovies! Sorry it's been a hot minute since I've updated. The last part had me in a bit of some writers block so hopefully it lived up to everyone's expectations. This chapter is going to be a bit more of a flash back, sort of recap with what Dylan was up to when he disappeared.... Enjoy!!!

Dylan's POV:

Red....

All I fucking see is Red.

My breathing is uncontrollable. Imagines are flashing in my mind and I can't fucking stop them. That bastards voice is like a damn recorder on repeat in my head. He's fucking touching her. I rip at the roots of my hair wanting this chaos in my mind to stop. How the fuck could she go and do this? After what just fucking happened in her room.

I knew it....

My subconscious is fucking me over, torturing me with demons I thought had been laid to rest. Now it's like they've rose from the dead.

You'll never be good enough for her...

She's better off without you....

Did you really think anyone could love you?

I try to calm myself, sitting on my couch my legs shake and my hands keep fisting my hair causing physical pain so I don't feel whatever the fuck is going on in my damn chest right now. I can't catch my fucking breath it's like something is sitting right on my rib cage. Do holidays mean that fucking much to her that she'd throw away what we have?

No, this can't be right.

There's a battle going on in my head of what I know and what I want to believe. She wouldn't do that to me. There's no fucking way. After all the shit and she's still choosing to be with me.

But why wouldn't she?

You're a fuck up....

no one will ever love you....

your good for nothing just like your pathetic mother....

My father's voice starts breaking through my reasoning, this is fucking loosing battle in my mind. Skylar has no right being with me, and I have no right being with her. She's too good for me. Of course she's going to run to another guy, she will every time I screw up because I'll never be the man she wants... some stuck up prince charming.

"Fuck!" I shout and stand abruptly grabbing my phone and instinctively scroll to Olivia's name.

She wants to fucking hurt me then she can take her own damn medicine.

Olivia answers just like she always does when I call, "Hey stranger."

Before my mouth can catch up to my brain words tumble out, "I'm heading to your dorm."

I hang up and throw my phone on the counter. I deserve a girl like Olivia. A girl down to fuck when ever I want and wont push me for more when I can't give more than that. Skylar wants too much from me, she deserves more than me that's just the damn bottom line.

Leaving my place is a blur before I realize my actions I'm pulling into Olivia's dorm parking lot. The anger is swimming through my veins feeling more like thick mud dragging me under. There's a dull ache underneath the anger telling me I shouldn't be here, that I'm fucking this up so much worse than it is. But even that can't stop the red I'm seeing. I feel so useless right now and if Skylar wants to throw us away then shit, I'm throw it first.

I take the stairs two at a time till I'm at her floor and walk down the empty hall. I half expect her to answer the door completely naked but she's wearing a University sweater and a pair of leggings.