Voices or the Dethroning of GOD #TNTHorrorContest

EMMA AND RACE @ THE HOSPITAL

"I can't have a relationship like that...not now...I can't."

"Like what, Emma?"

"You know."

"No, I don't know Emma, what are you talking about?"

"You know, like, intimate."

"Hey, I know you been through some bad relationships, I'm not gonna rush ya into nothing."

"I'm carrying a lot of baggage, Race."

"We all got some baggage lady, it's how we became who we are."

"No...you don't understand."

"Then tell me Emma, what is it, what's the big deal?"

"I'm scared Race, I can't do it again. I can't be in love, I can't make the investment cuz I can't afford the loss, I just can't do it!"

Race sat and looked at her looking at her sheets, tears down both cheeks, afraid to look him in the eye. Race put the finger of his right hand under her chin and gently lifted her head to meet his eyes. "Do you really want to let this go?"

Her head snapped back down. "I don't know what I want!"

"I do, I want you."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"Why, why me, what do you see in me?"

"I love you, Emma."

"Don't say that, that's not fair."

"I love you, I always have and I'm not gonna let you throw this away, chances like this don't come along everyday Emma, you don't just wake up one day and decide, "Gee, I thing I'll go out and fall in love today," then just go out and meet somebody on the street. Or maybe you do, maybe you get so lonely, that you convince yourself you're in love with some guy and you get married and have a couple a kids, but it won't be me Emma...if you let this go it may be the biggest mistake of your life, cuz you and I fit Emma, we've fit for years and I never even been to bed with you, I never kissed you Emma, but I know I can spend the rest of my life with you."

Emma was silent, obviously scared and nervous, it weighed heavily on her mind. She didn't want to acknowledge her own need. She didn't want to depend on anybody, she didn't want to trust someone with her fragile parts again. It took her so long to muster up the strength to be independent, to go on, to get over the last man she gave herself away to, only to be betrayed and lied to. But...she did need, she was as much afraid to not need as she was to be needy, as afraid to not depend on somebody as she was wishing she could, not wanting to trust as much as she wanted to fall into somebody's arms and let it all out.

She wanted dearly to take some strength, some courage, some refuge in the arms of a man who would just hold her and let her be weak, let her release some of the pain contained in the baggage that was getting so heavy to carry alone.

She was stuck between the rock and the hard place and she knew it was time to make a choice, to choose to continue the way she was or to take the chance. To throw the dice.