Begin Again (a Matty Healy and Jessica Sula fanfic)

2. Waking Up

I immediately sit straight up in my bed and reach for my alarm clock pulling it from the socket in the wall. I stare at the stupid thing, daring it to continue blaring. When a few minutes pass I place it back on my nightstand and reach for the flask before it topples to the floor. I bring the flask to my lips realizing that it's totally empty and a part of me feels guilty.

It's been half a year, six months since I lost them. I choose to push the thought out of my mind until my therapy session at the end of the week but the nightmares keep the memory at the front of my mind.

I started therapy two months ago and ever since then I've been sober and have only been filling my lovely flask with water. Before that my therapeutic methods consisted of alcohol and my music, but the alcohol pretty much became my everything. It was my way of grieving. Well sort of. I didn't want to feel anything, I still don't. So I try to stay away from anything or anyone too overwhelming. That's why it's such a shock to myself that I actually enrolled in a university. Today is my first day and I can't even get out of my thoughts for more than a minute.

I don't care to much about clothing, I never have so I go with a basic black v-neck t-shirt, black leggings and my black doc martens. Black has always been my favorite color and it's one that comforts me. I don't even bother to shower because I know I've wasted enough time as is.

I stand in front of my mirror looking at my reflection. The bags under my eyes are shrinking but they're still noticeable and my thick unruly hair just makes me look even more careless. So I brush out some of my thick curls and part my hair down the middle, settling on two French braids. My hair has grown tremendously since the last time I wore it like this. My braids now reach the middle of my back. I rub some moisturizer on my face and hands and head into the hallway.

"Geez you always look beautiful no matter what the hell you're wearing babes!" Mica says as she hops past me with one black stiletto on and the other slung on her wrist.

I mumble a "Thanks." And head down the stairs in search for my backpack.

"I'll be down in a sec! I know we're late for class!"

"It's just a guitar class, I'm sure we won't miss anything!" I yell back to her. I hear her coming down the stairs before I can see her.

"But it's your first real day back in society, ya homebody!"

I nod and smile. She's right I'm making progress and I should remember how far I've come. And I've been sober for two months thanks to her and my therapist. Mica is one of my best friends. We've grown up together and she's been there for me since the accident and I can count on her to be there every day after. She's the most positive person in my life right now and that's what I need. She made me move in with her after the accident, because she didn't trust me to be alone with myself. I didn't trust me either. Besides it was a win win I was completely broke and homeless and she was scared to live alone.

"Okay ya got everything? Cause there's no coming back for notebooks or pencils cause we're already late."

I grab my phone and smile. "Ya ya I know. I have everything now let's go please." I was becoming more anxious by the second and I just wanted to get this day behind me.

****I'm a shitty writer I know, but it would be nice to get some feedback of any sort! and ya know vote! because I would be eternally grateful xx