Begin Again (a Matty Healy and Jessica Sula fanfic)

17. Processing

**Sloane's Perspective**

I had been texting Matty since I got to Mica's party. I honestly didn't want to freeze him out anymore. I was ready to talk and answer all the questions he wanted answered. I needed to be around him because to be honest I kind of missed his chattiness and his accent. So I left him another voicemail apologizing for my recent behavior, because he was right I haven't been fair to him. Ross told me he was in his bedroom so I headed down the hall to his room. I knocked a few times before I opened the door. 

I just stood and watched. I could hear no sound, just images in front of my face. Images of Matty and this girl I had never seen before. They were f ucking. Matty and this blonde girl. I don't know how long I stood in that doorway, watching them f uck. I was angry, but the kind of angry where if you make any sudden moves you might hurt someone. Not because you want to but because you can't control yourself. 

The blonde girl was suddenly in my face, yelling at me. All I heard was her calling me a "freak", "crazy person", "pedo" and maybe "pervert". And you know what maybe I am a pervert, standing here watching the guy I like put himself into another girl.

Matty just sat there naked and when our eyes finally met I felt like I was looking at the biggest mistake I had ever let into my life. So I turned around and walked back down the hall back to the party. I can't be mad at Matty, we weren't a thing and I ignored him; but I am allowed to feel something. I grabbed a cup and filled it with water and took a big gulp just to calm my nerves. 

"Hey babe, let's dance!" Mica whispered into my ear. The living room was chill with people laid out on couches and people standing in corners and on the wall just chatting and singing to the music. The lights were dim and there was a disco ball on the ceiling emitting small rays of rainbow colored light that danced on the walls as the ball turned. I sidled up to Mica and we wrapped our arms around each other and slow danced. Mica is tall so I was able to lay my head on her shoulder.

"What's wrong hun?" she whispered to me.

"I caught Matty inside another girl upstairs and I watched." I whispered back.

Mica snorted and responded, "Please don't say 'inside another girl' and why did you watch? Fuck are you okay?". I responded with a smile and closed my eyes.

"I watched because it didn't seem real and I think I will be okay. We aren't together so he can f uck whomever he wants. I'm more so disappointed.".

Before I knew it Mica was twirling me in a circle where I caught a glimpse of Matty approaching us. He tapped on Mica's shoulder, "Do you mind if I take over from here?". He smiles that crooked smile and I'm handed off to Matty, but not before Sloane whispers in my ear, "Breathe doll, breathe".

***This was a short update, but tell me what ya think! Vote and Comment! Thanks!***