Begin Again (a Matty Healy and Jessica Sula fanfic)

18. Unsober Truths

*Sloane's Perspective*

Matty wraps his hands around my waist and I drape my arms over his shoulders and lean my head on his chest.

"What exactly are you going to say to fix this Matty?" I whisper as he leads us into the next slow dance.

I can hear his intake of breath and I can feel his exhale as he lets out his breath on the top of my head. I look up at him and whisper angrily, "fucking speak Matty".

"Sloane to be honest, I'm still tripping from the tab I took earlier. I just wanted to hold you and apologize. I didn't mean for you to walk in on me the way you did. I'm sorry." I could tell that he was struggling to find the right words, which annoyed me even more.

"We aren't in a relationship so you can fuck whomever you want, but just know that I'll do the same." As the words left my mouth, I knew I didn't mean them.

"Wait what the fuck are you talking about?" He drops his hands from my waist and takes a step back from me.

"Who are you sleeping with Sloane?" His voice raises slightly and I can see people peeking over at us from around the room. 

"Don't raise your voice or people will start staring Matty." I whisper to him as I step closer to him.

"Don't come near me if you're f ucking someone else Sloane." Matty yelled. The entirety of the room were looking at us now, and I could feel my heart pounding in my throat. 

I can't believe this is happening right now. He's upset with me for pretending to f uck someone else when he was actually f ucking someone else.

I walk up to him and grab his arm and pull him to the corner of the room and he follows me with a scowl on his face. I can tell he's still high and I'm pissed.

"Listen you don't get to be mad at me, when you actually f ucked some chick just moments ago." I whisper shout at him as people began to lose interest in our confrontation.

Matty grabs my arm and pushes me against the wall, pinning me in between his body and the wall. My breathing hitches and I could feel myself getting angry. He leans his face down next to my ear and whispers,

"I fuck who I want Sloane, you ignored me for the past few weeks and you expect me to wait for you? We aren't in a relationship like you said so get over this anger shit." He kisses my neck, my jaw and he goes in for my lips but I turn my face. He grabs my face and forces his lips onto my mouth as I try to push him off.

I reach my hands up and scratch at his face. 

"What the actual f uck Matty!" I scream. At this point everyone is watching us and i am shaking and crying. 

"F uck, Sloane I'm sorry. I'm so f ucking sorry." He grabs me by my arm as I am push past him to get out of the room. 

"Love, wait please let's talk. I'm so sorry." Mica runs up to Matty and yells,

"Go f uck youself Matty, and don't put your hands on her like that!"

"Matty don't ever fucking talk to me, I'm not fucking kidding." I yell at him. 

Mica grabs my hand and we walk out of the living room into the bathroom. When she closes the door, I drop to the floor and let out a strangled scream. 

"I can't believe the shit he just pulled out there! Are you okay Sloane?"

I take a deep breath and lay out on the floor.

"Ya Mica I'm okay, I just think Matty isn't good for me. I can't believe he did that shit out there."

Mica sits on the floor next to me and lays her head on my shoulder. 

"I love you Sloane and you handled that situation very well. We can leave if you want?"

she starts to sit up and I stop her,

"Nah, you go back out there and have fun with George. I'm gonna lay here and hide out for a while."

She kisses me on the forehead and heads back to the party.

I stare up at the ceiling wondering what the hell made Matty act like that out there. I want to blame it on the drugs, but I'm starting to think Matty is used to getting his way. I can't ignore the signs. these thoughts are swirling around my head as I fall asleep on the floor of Matty's bathroom.

***

I wake up groggy and not remembering where I am. I look around the room and remember I am in Matty's bathroom. I check my phone for the time and it is 1am and I see a few texts from Mica.

text me when you wake 11:31pm

are you awake? 12:01am

I'm outside with George, if you need me! 12:55am

I walk out of the bathroom and towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. I can hear voices in the kitchen from several different people including Matty.

As soon as I walk into the kitchen I notice everyone playing a game of beer pong and of course Matty is walking around with a forty taped to one hand and a red solo cup in the other chatting up the girl he was in earlier.

I lean against the counter drinking my water and watching him smiling and chatting up the girl. 

He sees me and immediately walks away from her mid sentence and makes his way over to me. 

"Baby please help me take the tape off my hand" he says to me. I can tell how his words slur that he is wasted.

I turn around and grab the knife on his kitchen counter and begin cutting the tape off, but I nick his hand in my attempt to get the duct tape off.

"Ouch dammit Sloane, that hurt quite a bit". 

"Oops and you're welcome." I put the knife back and turn around to find Matty staring at me.

"Sloane can we chat in private for a bit?" he slurs.

"Matty I'll talk to you when you're sober." And I walk around him to get away from him as fast as possible.

"Sloane come here please." he whines.

"F uck her Matty, she's not worth it." The blond girl walks up to Matty and grabs his hand. 

I turn around and walk out of the kitchen as Matty yells my name. 

I find Mica outside and thankfully she sees my face and knows I'm ready to go. She kisses George goodbye and we head to her car.

**Sorry that this chapter isn't long and kinda boring. It's a filler! Things are about to change so be ready! and sorry my update came so late. I just moved to nyc and things have been keeping me busy but I'm kinda settled now! I hope you guys like this chapter:)**