Begin Again (a Matty Healy and Jessica Sula fanfic)

16. Warped Mistakes

**Matty's Perspective**

I hadn't talked to Sloane in three weeks. Not for lack of trying though. The only time I was able to see her was during class time and I spent most of that time monitoring the class and assisting my uncle. When I wasn't assisting my uncle I was staring at Sloane. Daydreaming about her and wondering how she was doing.

However I had to keep reminding myself that I broke it off with her. Whatever "it" was, because we never talked about what we were. Fuck, what I really needed was a break from all the drama. This three weeks not talking to Sloane really put things in perspective. I need to just stop obsessing over her and move on. I haven't self harmed in the past three weeks and I feel like I can keep it up. I need to stay away from stressful situations. I feel good.

So after class I headed home to band practice with my mate Ross. When I walked through the door I was greeted by a smiling Mica.

"Hey Matthew! You guys are throwing a party tonight for my birthday, so make sure your vocals are on point!", Mica smiles and sashays away with an annoying look on her face.

I can feel the annoyance building slowly inside of me. "Uh what the fuck are you talking about?" I yell after her.

"Hey mate, chill out. It's my bad I forgot to tell you that we were doing that tonight. It completely slipped my mind.", Ross whispered.

"It's tonight?! Bloody hell I might as well get fucked then."

Ross smiled and slapped me on the back, "That's the spirit mate! Plus your old pal Stella is gonna be there in case you're up for some actual shaggin!"

Stella was an old friend from high school. We were on again and off again for a little bit before I met Karly, and after I lost Karly she was my friend with benefits but more so the benefits side than the friend side.

"Damn, it's going to be an interesting night mate!" I laugh and walk off to my room to lay down and take a quick nap.

___

I wake up to someone jumping up and down on my bed. I look up to see very long pale legs and as my eyes move further up I am greeted with a pale faced girl with red lipstick and long dirty blonde hair.

"Well hello Matty. You look like sex right now. Mind a quickie before we get to the party?" She plops down next to me and begins running her fingers through my hair.

"Babe I just woke up, what time is it?" As I get up to go grab my phone, she pushes me back down and hops on my lap, wrapping both her legs around my waist.

"Your phone was ringing non stop, some twat named Slop was texting and calling you.", she bit her lip and began kissing my neck, the whole while I'm thinking she's definitely talking about Sloane.

For some reason I don't care or I'm not too concerned. She showed me how she felt about me by ignoring me for three weeks. Stella reaches into her back pocket and pulls out two little smiley face tabs and holds them in the palm of her hand.

"You wanna get lost with me Matty?" I smile and grab a tab and we intertwine our arms and place the tab on each other's tongues.

I immediately grab the sides of her face and place my lips roughly on hers; before long my hands are in her hair and she's pulling at my hair. I place my hands on both sides of her waist and squeeze, which makes her squeal with excitement. I bite her lip and she breathes a moan into my mouth. I could smell all the alcohol she had consumed and it made me want her even more. I pushed her back on the bed, breaking our kiss apart. While I'm hovering above her she reaches up and starts to undo my jeans. I reach down and start pushing up her dress and pulling down her panties. I lean down for another kiss and I whisper, "Are you okay with this Stella?".

She smiles and whispers, "Please f uck me Matty."

I pull my jeans down to my knees and I can see the scars on my thighs are visible but Stella doesn't care and I don't either at that moment. Everything starts to get a little warped, and my thighs look like tiny sticks and Stella looks like a a smaller version of herself.

I pull down my boxers and Stella begins running her warm hands up and down my length. I moan from the pleasure and she immediately slides me into her opening.

At first it's difficult to get in because she's so tight, but I go in a little at a time until I'm deep inside her and she's moaning so loud I can feel my head pounding. The room starts dancing around me and I go in and out of her gaining speed as she claws at my chest and wraps her legs tighter around my waist.

I'm so engrossed in f ucking Stella that I don't notice my door opening and Sloane walking in. I don't know how long she was standing there before I realize that I'm not f ucking Stella anymore. I'm sitting there with my length out and Stella is yelling at Sloane for barging in or something. It's like I'm watching the scene as a spectator. Stella has gathered up her clothes in her arms and she's standing in front of Sloane and yelling at her. Sloane just stands there and stares at me.

Stella walks around Sloane and leaves the room. Sloane just continues to stand there in the doorway and stares. It was as if she was looking straight through me. Her face looked sad and her hands were shaking.

I tried to open my mouth but my tongue felt heavy and it seemed as if my mouth was full of cotton. I look down and I'm still naked. Fuck. When I look back up she's gone, as if she was never there.

***I really hope this chapter wasn't too long and boring! Enjoy! Comment and vote! ***