Hopeless

Chapter 18

I could feel the blood draining from my face as Natalia's eyes seem to look through me. My mind instantly goes to Alex and how he could try and take one last thing away from me. A familiar tingling working its way from the tips of my toes and up past the tips of my fingers; slowly. Slowly, it creeps up my neck; making my hair stand on end. Panic begins to wash over me with fury.

"Everything's going to be okay. It's Phoenix, we can find a job anywhere; the diner was shit anyway." Natalia says with poorly concealed worry.

She starts gently twirling her hair between her fingers as she shifts nervously.

"Yeah..." I say while trying to keep my legs from collapsing beneath me.

Of all things, why the diner? I know he knows where I live; he could have come into our apartment at any time. Knowing Alex he already had a plan. He is one of the most devious people I have ever met; always looking to get something from someone. I've never understood how his thought process works.

"We're not safe." I say under my breath.

"What?" She says leaning forward.

My eyes dart quickly to hers.

"Alex did this I just know he did."

"I know Alex is crazy but don't you think that's a bit of a stretch? The diner was shotty at best. The light switches didn't even work in the cooler."

"Oh come on Natalia." I say placing my hands on my hips.

"Don't take that tone with me." She snaps as her knuckles whiten on the strap of her purse.

"You can't be that delusional. You know the things he has done."

"Yeah I do and I really don't think that burning down the diner was a part of his plan."

"You're talking about the same person who stabbed me and then came back and nearly choked me to death."

"What would he gain from burning the diner down? Absolutely nothing."

"Exactly! This is just one last attempt to try and hurt me."

"Archer. I love you but I'm not doing this with you right now. We need to go home and get a game plan on finding new jobs." She says gesturing towards the door.

"You're not doing what? Supporting me?"

"Why are you trying to start a fight?"

"I'm not! I'm scared and you're over here pretending like nothing is happening."

"I'm not pretending nothing is happening. I'm trying to keep positive in this absolutely shit situation. You are not helping by panicking." She yells, attracting the entire lobbies attention.

She runs her hands through her hair, the words hitching in her throat.

"I can't keep doing this. Everyday you relive that nightmare. Do you even get how hard it was for me? How shattered I felt finding you there in our room?"

She pauses wiping away a rouge tear.

"I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't. It's been all you for the last two years; scratch that, the last ten years. I had a hard time too Archer." She says throwing her hands in the air.

We stood in silence for what seems to be hours, just staring at each other. She forces out an incredibly fake smile and pulls her keys out.

I follow her to the car, neither one of us saying a word. The car ride home is tense enough to break bones. My chest feeling heavier than ever. I suppose I never really thought of what Natalia has had to go through. I know she went to counselling a few times that she told me but really how would I feel if the situation was the other way. I don't know what I'd do if I was in her shoes. Stepping out of the car I watch her walk away from me.