I'm not weak (Deanxreader)

Hurt

~flashback~

"Y/n! Y/n! Wait, please. I just want to talk...." Dean said as he knocked on the door. You sighed, laying on the bed Jody ever so kindly let you crash on. You then sat up grabbing a pillow and hugging it tightly, bringing your legs up to your chest, contemplating on giving Dean a chance to talk. You sighed again, your grip on the pillow tightening. 

"C-come in..." You said quietly, already regretting saying that. Dean quietly came in with a look of guilt and sadness swirling in his tired eyes. You looked at him for only a second, afraid to say anything to him before you start crying again. 

"H-hey...Y/n/n..." Dean said softly. You looked at him briefly before looking at the ground again, not wanting to show that you were gonna cry.

"I um, I'm...sorry. I- didn't...m-mean to hurt...you. I-" Dean began. You let out a cold chuckle. Dean looked at you in surprise. 

"You really didn't mean to hurt me?" You said laughing again, tears welling in your eyes.

"I- it's hard for me to explain. But she was the one that came onto me- I- You know I would never hurt you, right?" Dean pleaded, gently placing a hand on your cheek, moving your face to make you look at him. His eyes pleading with you to forgive him. Your sadness was replaced with anger. You moved your head away from Dean. He felt his heart break a little when you moved away from him.

"Then why'd you do it? You didn't move away from her..." You said looking away from him. 

"I- well...it's kind of hard to explain...but..." Dean paused for a moment. 

"I..don't know how, but. She looked..." Dean stopped. 

"Pretty? Obviously prettier than me" You said bitterly.

"What? No, she's not pretty. Well I mean she is-but! Ugh" Dean stammered. 

"Dean, that was one of the worst days of my life, honestly..." You shuddered. He stayed quiet again. 

"Did you even remember that it was my birthday?" You asked quietly. Dean's eyes widened in shock

"C-crap...is that why Sam gave you that necklace..?" Dean whispered. You chuckled. Your hand instinctively went to the necklace Sam gifted you, and the necklace Damien gave you.  

"Greatest birthday I've ever had..." You said, your voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Do you even care about me?" You said as tears welled up.

"I do! Baby, please. I'm sorry I messed up..." Dean said.

"You don't understand, do you?" You said angerly.

"When I left, I was treated like a piece of crap, by a man I thought loved me, and cared about me. He brought me down and hurt me so much I thought I was either gonna die from him or myself..." You said as tears began to fall again. 

"I finally got away from him. I finally began to build myself up with some help. A year later Sam came up saying that he needed my help, and...you know the rest..." You said with a small chuckle.

"You dated someone else? Why didn't you tell me anything? Was it that guy that gave you the necklace?" Dean asked upset. That pissed you off. You snapped.

"No, Dean! I loved you! This is the reason why I didn't want to tell you! Because then you'll think the worst of it! Pitty me! Why the hell would I wear a freaking necklace of someone that TORTURED ME?! You know what? I HATE YOU!" You snapped, tears falling freely. Dean stood there angry and baffled.

"I think I should leave." Dean said coldly.

"Yeah...you should." You said as you balled your hands into fists. And with that, Dean left. Slamming the door. That proved to you that Dean never really cared about you. And with that, you began to pick up the pieces of your heart. Time to start rebuilding...again

~End of flashback~