I'm not weak (Deanxreader)

I Love You

The day continued as usual. You all ate lunch and discussed what the monster could be. But the number in Dean's pocket still ate at you. At the end of the day, you were exhausted. Both physically and emotionally. Dean noticed and tried to make you feel better. He made you dinner, let you shower first, and even massaged your back. Even though this flattered you, you were still anxious. Sam and Dean already fell asleep, but you laid wide awake with thoughts that flooded your mind. 

'Was Dean really cheating on me?'

'Would he do that?'

'Does he even love me? Is he lying to me?'

You sighed and shifted around in bed, trying to go to sleep. You didn't even notice that Dean woke up until he spoke up. 

"You okay, kitten?" Dean said, sleep laced in his voice. You looked up at him, his green eyes staring back at you

"Yeah, just can't sleep." You said with a forced smile.

"Mhm, want me to help?" Dean said as he wiggled his eyebrows. You laughed a bit and pushed him aside.

"You're weird" You laughed, Dean, laughed too. 

"Love you too, babe" Dean said drowsily mixed with sarcasm. You kinda laid there in shock, Dean would usually show that he loved you, never saying it. And he never really called you pet names, besides kitten or sweetheart. Dean's eyes widened as he realized what he said. 

"I-um...sorry" Dean said. You smiled as you blushed. You just reached out and hugged him. He hugged you back, placing his face on the crook of your neck.

"Hey, you don't need to say you're sorry" You said with a chuckle. You can feel Dean chuckle. He began to kiss different places on your neck and jawline. You giggled as Dean kissed a certain part of your collar bone. 

"You have no idea how much I love you" Dean muttered as he buried his face on your neck again. You grew a bit angry. Does he really mean it though? You thought. A sort of idea popped into your mind. You bit the bottom of your lip, inching closer to Deans lips. He looked eager, inching close to you too. At the last second, you pull away giggling. Dean growled in annoyance. You bit your lip and smirked.

"Prove it Winchester" You said teasingly. Dean growled. 

"You're lucky Sam's in the room" Dean said before he placed his lips on your neck, sucking on the skin, definitely leaving a mark there. 

"You're mine." Dean murmured as he kissed the spot he left a mark on. You hummed as he looked at you in admiration. You had him wrapped around your finger. 

"Oh...am I?" You teased. Dean's eyes widened, then smirked. His eyes darkened. You chuckled as you turned away the second he tried to kiss you. You can hear him growl again.

"I'mma get some sleep. I'm really tired." You fake yawned

"Oh, c'mon kitten!" Dean whined. You quickly shushed him, covering his mouth with your hand as Sam began to stir around in his bed. You then felt Dean's tongue meet your hand. You quietly squealed and wiped your hand on Dean's chest. He then grabbed your hand and kissed it. You smiled as he put your hand down and pulled you close, his hand inching to your rear. 

"Love you." Dean said kissing the back of your head and neck. You frowned a second but chuckled. 

'He's such a dork...' You thought, smiling a bit. 

"Mhm" You hummed. Your back was still turned to him. Avoiding the question that was eating you up.

"Oh, I got a lead on the hunt." Dean mumbled. Your head perked up.

"Really?" You asked. 

"Yep, the receptionist told Sam and me that the farmers were two of three rival farms. The third farmer is still alive. Thinking what I'm thinking?" Dean asked as he slung his arm around your stomach. You nodded.

"How'd you get the info?" You asked him, hoping it would be the answer to your question. You noticed him hesitate for a moment. Anxiety ate at you.

"I uh...told the receptionist that I'd...I'd go on a...date...with...her" Dean said slowly as he gripped you tighter. Your heart sank to your stomach. 

"I only did it to get the info! I'm not going out with her. I promise." Dean said as he grabbed your hand, but you moved your hand away. Dean sighed.

"Look...I'm sorry I-" Dean started. You cut him off.

"No, it's okay Dee. I just wish you told me sooner." You said as you squirmed away from him. Angry tears threatening to spill from your e/c eyes. 

"I didn't want to piss you off..." Dean said. 

"It's fine." You tried to say in a cheery tone, still facing away from Dean. After what seemed like forever, Dean turned you around. Before you can protest, he crashed his lips onto yours, kissing you passionately. Your eyes widened with shock. You then found yourself kissing him back. You both pulled away, needing to breathe. Dean looked at you with guilt. He placed a hand on your cheek, a small smile spread across his face. 

"I'm sorry. Really, I am. I-I won't be pulling stunts like that again." Dean said as his thumb brushed your cheek. You chuckled. 

"Promise?" You asked him. The look in your eyes made his heart burst.

"Promise." He said as he kissed you again. You wanted to believe him, but something in your mind told you that he might do it again. That he was lying to you. You brushed it off, enjoying Dean's lips on yours. 

"Love you, babe..." Dean said as he broke the kiss. You smiled in adoration.

"Same here Dee..." You said with a smile. Dean chuckled as he pulled you close. You couldn't bring yourself to say 'I love you back'. You were afraid to say it. The last two people you've said that to were dead. The first one being your sister. The other a man that beat you and broke you so much to the point you didn't know who you were. You knew Dean would never hurt you, but you were afraid to say that you loved him back. You were afraid that you were going to lose him, Sam, and Cass. After you knew he fell asleep, you kissed his head. You couldn't bring yourself to say I love you...even though you love him a lot. 

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A/n: Sorry it took so long to post. I'm swamped with schoolwork and was working on another novel for school. I'm hoping that I could post more this month. Thanks for 719 reads btw! Really appreciate it♥♥♥

-Squish💕