I'm not weak (Deanxreader)

Here we go again

It's been another week of just hunting. You've killed two nests of vamps, a pack of werewolves, and two djinns. You were exhausted, to say the least. You just came back from killing a shifter, collapsing onto the motel bed. And was out like a light. Your dreams were plagued with visions of Matt and Dean, torturing and abusing you. And it would always end the same, with Dean saying he never loved you and making out with the waitress. You tossed and turned. The dreams burned into your mind. Pings coming from your phone woke you up.

167 messages from Dean 

28 missed calls from Dean

'Nothing new' You thought as you swiped them away. But something else caught your eye.

5 new messages from Sam

1 missed call from Sam

'Well, that's new...' You thought to yourself. You opened it and started reading. 

Y/n

Y/n I'm sorry but I need your help

It's an emergency

Dean's gone

Please call me

You pondered for a while. You honestly didn't know what to do. Or even if Sam did it to bring you guys together, at least for some 'closure', as Sam would say. You didn't need closure. Dean didn't love you and made out with some other chick. That's enough closure. Your phone then vibrated. You checked it, finding it was Sam who was calling. You hesitated but picked up the phone and answered. 

"H-Hello?" You said

"Y/n! Okay, um...I'm really sorry but. Um...I really need your help." Sam said. You can tell there was panic in his voice.

"What's wrong, Sam?" You said, concerned with the tone of his voice. 

"I-um...after we visited you Dean would always come back to the bunker really late at night. And it's been two days... he...he never came back." Sam said. Your stomach twisted in knots. You were genuinely concerned about Sam. You can tell he wasn't lying. You sighed and ran a hand through your hair. 

"What exactly happened?" You asked him. 

"Well, I guess he always goes to the bar...I-I dunno. He always leaves at night." Sam said sheepishly. You rolled your eyes. 

"Please Y/n...this is the only thing I'll ask you for" Sam pleaded. You chewed the bottom of your lip as your stomach twisted in knots. You didn't want to see Dean again. If you saw him, you just know you're gonna break down again. But you didn't want to make Sam disappointed in you. Self-hatred and loathing wouldn't let you do that. You needed to help Claire, Alex, Jody, and Patience with everyday stuff, while hunting, keeping checks with Sam, and helping Cass whenever you can. You tried your best not to show that you weren't okay by busying yourself. But you knew that they can tell you're breaking.

"A-alright. I'll go and help you..." you said hesitantly 

"Thanks, Y/n..." Sam said with a sigh of relief. 

"I'll tell Cass so he can pick you up." Sam said.

"That's okay, you don't need to-" You were cut as you turned around, seeing a pair of familiar blue eyes.

"Nevermind, he's here. Bye Sammy" You said awkwardly as you hung up the phone. Cass was looking at you intently.

"C-Cass? Personal space, remember?" You said with a smile. Cas nodded and stepped away. 

"My apologies..." He said as he looked around the room. You quickly got all your stuff together. 

"It's okay, Cassie." You said with a chuckle. Cass gave you a lopsided smile.

"How have you been doing, Y/n?" Cas asked. You frowned. Not knowing how to answer.

"I'm doing fine, you?" You asked him with the nicest smile you can muster. Cas didn't seem to buy it. 

"I'm doing quite well. I'm just...worried...about you and Dean." He said, turning his head to the side a bit. 

"You don't need to worry about me. I'm fine, really." You said with a laugh. 

Lies...

"Alright...ready to go?" Cas said. You nodded, grabbing your bags. Cass then pressed his hand on your forehead. You both disappeared from the motel room. 

Your stomach was all up in knots. You really didn't want to see Dean. Not yet. Not after the last time you saw him...

So sorry that I didn't update sooner. Some things came up and I completely forgot to update😅
Also holy crap! 1k views!!! Thx sooo much💖💖💖💖. Much love💕
I appreciate you all sooo much! Words can't describe how happy I am♥

-Squish💕