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43: never put on the regret list
RYU
"Anong gagawin ko ngayon?" she asked in distress. Magulong-magulo ang kanyang buhok dahil sa ilang beses na pagsabunot niya sa sarili.
To make it clear what's really going on, I supposed I am internally happy about this news while she feels the exact opposite.
"Sit down Pi and we'll figure out how to settle this matter," sabi ko sa kanya.
"I can't be pregnant!" she insisted.
"Why not?"
I see no problem in it. She's at the right age to bear a child, she's financially stable, WE are financially capable, with that our kid will have a secured future.
Kinagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi at pinipigilan ang pag-iyak. "I will be one of the worst mothers in history."
"You haven't given yourself a try Pi." Could she really say so?
"I'm not having this baby."
I felt a surge of anger. Woman said what?!
"A-abort... Or whatever. Hindi ko alam," wika niya at tuluyan nang naiyak. Ngayon ko lang din napansin na nakakuyom na pala ang kamao ko.
She's thinking of terminating the baby? Huh she would really be the worst mom in history. And as if I will allow it!
" Abort?!... what? Nababaliw ka na ba?”
She cried even more. “Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. I don’t want a baby.”
“Why not?!” tanong ko. This is making me so angry.
“I’m... I’m not ready yet.”
“Do not give me that bullshit Pi. The moment we fucked without protection, we didn't think about getting ready so why use that as an excuse now?! ”
She sniffed even more. If I wasn’t angry, malamang inalo ko na siya at pinatahan pero hindi. She’s thinking of aborting our baby. How could she even think of that?
We’re on this together, pregnancy is not a one-man matter. We did this together kaya kung ano man ang mga diskusyon tungkol dito ay kailangang kami rin ang gumawa.
This is our fault. I admit may kasalanan ako, I was only thinking of my damn dick, ni hindi man lamang sumagi sa isipan ko ang proteksyon. We had sex not by accident! So this baby isn’t by accident too.
She’s crying and she’s actually hyperventilating. I saw her tumbler on the side kaya kinuha ko iyon at inabot sa kanya matapos iyong buksan. “You need to calm down Pi.”
She chugged on her water and somewhat calmed for a bit. Her mascara was smudged all over her face but that’s not what matters now.
Being parents means responsibilities. Maybe we’re not ready, yes pero hindi iyon rason para magdalawang-isip kung itutuloy ba ang pagbubuntis.
