Eight Boys and a Walker girl

35 | The McCartney girl

35 | The McCartney girl

Wait.

Hold up.

Did he just say-

Julian drops his gaze into his lap, and I know he's doing it to hide his face from me. There's no mistaking it now- the shine in his eyes is tears. He draws in a deep breath, and it's broken with raw emotion. He runs a hand through his hair, which I've noticed he does whenever he's nervous or uncomfortable- or upset- and stares out across the sea to the sky-line, refusing to meet my gaze.

Did he just say-

I can't believe it. How can Jen be his sister? First off, how can he even have a sister? We've been living together for over a month, surely all the boys can't have hidden something like that from me. Even I couldn't completely hide Jamie from them. And how could Mum not have told me that they lost a sister, when she told me that they'd lost their parents? Why would the boys even want to keep something like this from me? It can't be true. I don't believe it.

Yet...

At the same time, it makes complete and unquestionable sense. Her being in the family photo- the girl with the blue eyes and dark hair, cuddled into Armelle's side. Her face squashed up to Julian's in the photo I found when I was searching his room that night, love radiating from them both- but a sibling love, not a romantic love. And-

And on that second day. The day that I sobbed when I found the smashed photo of Jamie, and cried out that they'd never know what it was like to lose a sibling. How Julian's eyes looked...so hard and yet vulnerable and emotional at the same time.

It makes sense. Oh god, it makes sense.

And this whole time, I didn't know.

Oh, god.

"Jenna Avelina Raelynn McCartney. Not only was she my sister," Julian continues, his voice hoarse and flat in tone. "She was my twin. My twin sister, my best friend...and she died in the fire. The night I lost my house and my parents, I lost my soulmate on top of that." He sniffs hard, dropping his head into his hands. "I didn't want to tell you," he whispers. "I didn't want to talk about it with anybody. I couldn't."

"My god." I whisper, not knowing what else to say. "I- I can't believe never knew. I've- I've been feeling all alone about Jamie, like no one understands me, yet everyone has been helping me- and I never helped you- I never knew-"

Julian sucks in another deep breath, broken with emotion like the first one. He opens his mouth as if to say something, then closes it, and takes in another breath. Then another, then another.

All I can hear right now is the distant crashing of the sea, far beneath us, with the loud thumping of my heart mingled with the shush of the waves. I can hear my heart beating so clearly, I'm sure Julian must hear it.

Everything is slowly but surely coming into place.

It makes sense, yet it doesn't. Yet it does.

Julian has a sister.

Julian had a sister.

I swallow, trying to wet my dry throat. Despite this, my voice still comes out croaky when I speak. "How- how did she die? I mean- was it the same as- the night your parents-"

He nods, adam's apple bobbing. "She died in the fire, same as Mum and Dad. I could hardly believe it when they told me- I mean- that she- was gone...you only ever really hear about this stuff in the news, you never really imagine it happening to you-"

"In real life," I finish quietly, "And you don't quite think it's real, because it's so- it's so sudden and just cruel. It's like you never knew how much you needed them before they're- before they've-"