Not A Second Time (John Lennon Fanfic)

Chapter 24.

I woke up alone the next morning to the smell of food. I sat up and looked at the clock.

9:23 am

I got out of bed and walked out of the room, into the kitchen. I stopped and gave a small smile as Paul made breakfast while singing, Julian sitting on the counter with flour all over him.

"Mumy!" He yelled. Paul looked over at me and groaned.

"We were supposed to surprise you!"

I laughed and walked over, kissing Julians cheek.

"Yeah? Well, I'm surprised all right. Where's John?"

He sighed. "At the studio with George. He um, told me about last night. He seemed upset."

I nodded. "I know. He won't talk to me. Paul I'm so confused."

"Why? You and John 'ave been wanting another..."

I grabbed his arm and pulled him aside so we could talk alone. "I don't want Julian knowing. Last night John went out on me. Literally in front of me. Paul I don't even know if I can have this baby. I got pregnant last time and a few months later, I lost it. Even if it does last....I don't know if me and John will."

Paul sighed and pulled me into a hug. I closed my eyes and hugged him tightly.

"Lucy I know how John can be. But he's your husband now. You can't just leave like you used to. We care about you. Julian cares about you."

"I know. I love Julian. He's become like my own. But without him..things just go back to the way they were. I want a husband Paul. I know I'm not perfect but I'm trying."

He held my hand and looked into my eyes. "John loves ye. Isn't that all that should matter?"

I stayed quiet and nodded slowly. "Yeah. I guess."

"Uncle Paul the pancakies are burning!" Julian yelled. I laughed and looked down at mine and Paul's hands.

"John will hate me if I have an abortion. He'll eventually leave me if I keep it. I know he will."

"Uncle Paul!" Julian yelled.

"I'm coming love!" Paul yelled. "I'll be here for you Lucy. No matter what you choose to do."

"That's the problem. I don't know what to choose."

He leaned in and kissed me. I closed my eyes and kissed back, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Uncle Paul!" Julian yelled as smoke filled the air. We pulled away and laughed, making our way into the kitchen.

..

".... running my hands through her hair

Both of us thinking how good it can be

Someone is speaking but she doesn't know he's there

I want her everywhere and if she's beside me

I know I need never care

But to love her is to need her everywhere

Knowing that love is to share"

I sat on an amp, painting my toenails as John sat on the floor, goofing around with Julian. He still wasn't talking to me, but we managed to keep things civilized. For Julians sake.

George was singing and playing during break, as Pattie sat next to him.

I looked over at him as he sang. He glanced at me, our eyes locking as he continued singing. I gave him a small smile and looked away, finishing my nails. John leaned against the amp, bringing my other leg over his shoulder.