Not A Second Time (John Lennon Fanfic)

Chapter 21.

I lifted my shirt over my head and tugged my shorts down, leaving me in my bikini. Julian playing in the water with John. I smiled watching them. Father and son.

I sat on the edge of the pool, letting my feet fall into the water. After John's and Cyn's arguement a few hours ago, she was shocked, no wait, appalled to find out John married me. She threw a fit, leaving without a word, leaving little Julian behind. She never did come back to retrieve him. I didn't mind though. I loved the little guy.

"Daddy? Why do we have to wear clothes to be in the pool? We don't have to when we take a bath."

John thought for  a few seconds then spoke. "Because when we take a bath, it's private time."

"But I don't have private time. Mumy is always with me in there."

"Well that's different. You're little and we don't want you to drown."

"Do you and mumy take baths together?" He asked innocently, looking back and forth at me and John. I giggled as John blushed.

"Uh, well...yes. But it's different."

"Why can't we swim naked?" Julian asked.

"Yeah John, Why can't we?" I asked playfully. He looked at me and smiled shaking his head. I stood up and untied the strap to my bikini and let it fall. I pulled my undies off as well, kicking them to the side. I got in the water as John watched.

"See. No big deal Julian. It feels nice actually."

"Yeah? Let's see then." John smiled, taking his shorts off.

Soon we were all naked in the pool, laughing and splashing each other. I held Julian in my arms as he hugged me. I swayed him back and forth. He yawned.

"You getting sleepy?" I asked. He nodded and rubbed his eyes.

"I think it's time for a nap."

"Okie mum. Can you sleep next to me?" He asked. I giggled.

"What do you say John? An afternoon nap sound good?"

"Sounds perfect love." He swam over to us and kissed both of our cheeks.

..

After a few days of just me and John, I completely forgot anyone else in the world existed. That was until I read the paper later that evening, while watching tv. John was in the other room, playing guitar and singing with Julian.

Wedding Bells for youngest Beatle George Harrison. Married yesterday afternoon with model Pattie Boyd.

I read the headline and bit my lip. He married her. He didn't even tell me. I jumped when John rested his head on my shoulder, reading the headline.

"What are ye readin?"

"George got married?" I asked. He stayed quiet and stepped back.

"Yeah."

"Is that where you were yesterday while I stayed home with Julian??" I asked feeling hurt. He didn't say anything. I shook my head and stood up, making my way to the kitchen as the kettle whistled.

"He didn't want ye to know. He knew you'd be upset and start somethin."

I sighed and decided not to argue, since Julian was in the house. I just nodded.

"Okay."

He raised his eyebrows. "Okay? Just like that?"

"Yes. Look John, I'm married to you. I love you with all my heart and.."

"I know how ye feel about George. There was always somethin there. There still is."

I bit my lip and leaned against the counter.

"Ye love him. And not just as a friend. Ye want him."

"John..."

"Now I understand how ye must have felt all those years. I know what it's like to be in your shoes. Being with you and...still wanting Cynthia." He shook his head and walked over, leaning against the counter across from me. "Being in love with two people at the same time hurts the heart. I know it can be fun sometimes but, you'll just end up hating yourself. I put you through so much pain, it still haunts me to this day. I don't want to lose ye."

I closed the space between us with my body and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He looked down at me and moved his hands around my waist.

"I love you so much John. I'll always be here. I know I'm a bad person sometimes and we fight. But the feeling of your body next to mine at the end of the day, every day... I know then that you still love me. Those nights when we were teenagers, those nights in Hamburg, those nights in America, after the tour...you still ended up in my bed at the end of the day."

He smiled and pulled me closer to his body. I giggled as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and tapped the tip of my nose.

"Most Rock N Roll musicians 'ave groupies and whores in their beds everynight. Fuckin hell the mates do time to time as well....but it's come to the point where I come 'ome to my own groupie 'ere at home. Ye were our number one back in the day...and I married her."

"Yeah? And um, does this groupie keep her lover satisfied?" I gave him a naughty smile, playing with the collar of his shirt. He leaned down and gave me a teasing, tongue filled kiss.

"Mmm. Does that answer you're question?" He smirked. I smiled and leaned up, sucking on his bottom lip. He moved his hands over my bum, squeezing hard as I pressed up against him.

"Fuckin hell were goin to hell." He laughed. I giggled and kissed his jawline. We were interrupted by Julian walking into the room and looking up at us.

"Hey baby. What's the matter?" I asked pulling away from John and kneeling in front of Julian.

"I want to watch batman!" He said pointing to the tv. I smiled.

"Promise to be in bed at ten?"

He nodded. "Yes."

I stood up. "Okay then. Go on, I'll be there in a few minutes."

He ran to the living room and turned on the tv as I walked back to John. He picked me up and sat me on the counter. I could hear Julian giggling as the theme music began. I smiled to myself.

"I love him John. Can I keep him?" I asked pouting. John laughed and pecked my lips.

"I wish it was that easy love."

..

One week later

Having Julian around really kept me in line. He kept John in line too. We both behaved, acted like a married couple, like real parents. John stayed sober, we ignored calls from the guys, from interviewers, from the whole world.

John ran throughout the house, looking for his shoes. I searched the closet frantically and under the bed. My knees red from kneeling on the ground.

"I found them daddy!" Julian yelled. John sighed in relief and picked up Julian, smothering him with kisses.

"Thank you love. Are ye ready Luce?" John asked. I nodded and picked up Julian in my arms, fixing his shirt.

"John, I'm nervous." I said stopping in front of the door. He kissed my cheek and held my hand.

"It'll be fine love. She'll love you."

"She didn't love me nine years ago." I said squeezing Julian against me.

"Well, she's just goin to have to accept you in my life. I love you."

I gave him a nervous smile and nodded. "I love you too. Come on, let's do this."

.....