The Insane House | billie eilish

"Did you shower with clothes on or something?"

heya so I added music into the chapters so when you see the line *play song now* you play the song linked above! Enjoy!

Maya

I tossed and turned on my bed for the rest of the night, thinking about what had happened hours before.  Did I really do that?

I had never done that before, I had never moaned a person's name while masturbating, especially not a girl.  I don't know what the fuck I had been thinking.

I came to the conclusion after hours of tossing and turning that it wasn't the fact, I was turned on by this particular person.  It was the thought of that person being so etched in my brain out of annoyance, her name slipped out.  That's it.

I look over at my alarm clock and it reads 8:15 am.  I had lost hours upon hours of sleep, beating myself up over nothing.  My eyes started to slowly shut feeling the peace of mind I needed to get some shut eye.

-

I jolt awake hearing the loudest knock at the door.  I wake up panting, breathing harder and harder like I had the worst nightmare.  When in actuality, I never dreamed at all.

I slowly get up out of the bed, hearing the door knock once again.

"I'm coming!"  I yell towards the door as I'm walking inches from it.  I put my hair up in a loose ponytail and open the door to be greeted by Harold.

"Well good morning Maya."  He greeted me with a smile.  Harold has been waking me up these past 3 days, every morning around 9:30 am. 

He has a schedule he follows so he could get started with the day.  I offered to get up with him, considering no one else would be up around that time.  He obviously was insistent on that deal.

"Good morning Harold!"  I greeted him with a bigger smile back.  I was so beyond tired from stressing myself out last night over nothing. 

Harold could tell I didn't get much sleep, because he was quick to tell me to go back to sleep and get more 'beauty rest'.

"No I'm fine Harold I can help you get started with the day-."

"As much as I would love that.  You need some sleep and I don't mind whipping up a quick breakfast for myself.  I'll see you at the group session later Maya."  Without another word Harold starts to walk down the stairs directly next to my room.

I slowly close the door back and lock it, walking towards the edge of my bed crawling back into it.  Not even a second after hitting my pillow, I was out like a light.

*play the song now*

"Billie stop what are you doing?  This isn't you at all.  Just think for a second.  Only you think, Billie."  I start backing away from Billie in my room, seeing a small kitchen knife in her right hand.

She had something in her eyes that I couldn't point out, but it made me feel so hollow looking into them.

"Oh shut up Maya, you are nothing but a fucking slut who cares about getting what she wants, and then once she does, tosses them aside like they are trash."