*𝟚𝟜*

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taehyung looked out his window with heartbroken eyes, the opposite of love-heart eyes.

there stood on his vast garden, was the jeon jungkook.

it took him all of his energy not to cry, not to shed another tear. he hadn't for a few days now, it felt good not to fall asleep surrounded by tears, it felt good not to wake with fresh ones around him.

the heart ache that had soothed slightly, was built back up into crushing pain.

his chest felt heavy, all the pain he ignored in that moment, building up in his chest, pulling him to the floor.

yet, he wouldn't budge. his knuckles whitened as he gripped the brass lines that squared the window panel.

his strong gaze on the grass clouded as he watched his love laugh at a joke his father told him.

he watched them work, he watched them tidy the garden supplies.

he watched them leave.

he watched the sun set around him and the bright light retire. he watched the mood take place, high in the sky, illuminating the cold green grass, the lake close by reflected the moon.

the lake reflected the moons purpose, showing off proudly its work. what is does. thanking the moon for lighting the sky for the night owls.

while the window taehyung stood by reflected nothing. not even him. not a single purpose. that's what taehyung held.

he stood in the same spot all day, his eyes still trained on the select piece of grass jungkook stood on hours earlier, the spot taehyung first saw him after 4 weeks of pain.

the spot where he last saw him burned into his brain likewise with the laugh he let out, that... beautiful face, lit up in laugher.

he agonised to hold the boy close, even just once more. tell him he loves him no matter what, even if anyone tries to tear them apart.

he wouldn't stop loving jungkook, he hasn't stopped loving him.

'look at the moon, we're looking at the same one, we're connected by the moon.'

that's all taehyung wants to say, even if he has to yell from his window. that's the message he wants to tell his love.

if he was to let go now... they wouldn't be looking at the same moon.

how could he look at the moon with his eyes closed? he couldn't.
that's why he must stay alive.

letting go wasn't the option, staying for jungkook was, that's what he shall do.

stay in heartbreak, hoping the boy he loves recovers.

stay in heartbreak.

that's all he's done for a month now, this constant emptiness no teddy could fill, no book nor garden.

only one body could, yet that was a dream. a beautiful dream turned nightmare.

a dream he longed to have again.

he still stood at the window, the window which brought the moonlight in. the only light the large room had.

a knock at the locked door.

he was forced to open it, with the voice that called him.

father.

he unlocked it, pulled it open and let the door hit the wall lamely.

a flash of pain struck mr kim's body once he saw the mess his son was.

even in the pitch black of the room, the only light coming in from the moon, mr kim still saw what was left of his son.

... so skinny.
pale... ill looking.

his shirt hung off his body like he'd been trapped on a desert island with no food for weeks.

his face looked like it had witnessed a million and one deaths.

his eyes were cold like the night air, colourless too, like no stars shone.

he realised his destructive powers in that moment, what he could do to his son.

how much of a monster he was.

how the gardeners son was really an angel... saving taehyung.

the thoughts were too much for mr kim to handle, the tears welled then poured down like a stream.

his voice was soft, horrified, "i-i'm so sorry son..." so delicate, so guilty.

his hands shook, if he were holding tea in a tea cup, the cup would be empty and the walls would have a new colour painted on them.

taehyung turned to face his father, sharing his tears.

"t-that's all i've ever w-wanted y-you to say..." taehyung spoke, hardly audible, his voice was only used for wails.

now, his voice was used for speaking his truth.

"f-father... i loved h-him like you loved mother... all the stories you told... i had my own versions of them... with him..."

the tears fell heavily from mr kim's eyes, the stream, now a river.

"... how could i do this to you?..." his father asked in disbelief, he was blinded by protection.

to blind to realise the protection was destruction.

taehyung ran to his father, he hugged the man tightly.

the fancy shirt the older man wore absorbing all taehyungs tears.

his arms circled taehyungs back, bringing him in tightly.

he thought back to his love, taehyungs mother.

the beauty and brains she was... allured mr kim to her.

love, love at first sight.

he put himself in taehyungs shoes, thinking back to his teenage hood.

if his father forced him to be away from taehyungs mother, he would react the same as his son was now.

all made sense... all made him a monster.

"i-i'm going to fix this taehyung... i p-promise."

-

^ this is the window taehyung has, except gold and much larger ^

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^ this is the window taehyung has, except gold and much larger ^

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