I Was Never Loved! (Taekook)

Chapter 27

Was it easy? Was it easy to see your love cry their heart out, beg their heart out to not leave - not leave to struggle alone. It wasn't.

It wasn't because he was struggling too, not more but not less either. His heart pained too, seeing someone go farther away even when they promised each other that they won't leave ever. It hurted him too, it took his breathe away too, but no one could understand that. If Taehyung cried and begged Jungkook when he left him in the asylum , Jungkook too did but between four suffocating walls. He vent out his frustration, grief, guilt, disappointment between four mocking walls, scared to be vulnerable for the world, scared to be weak for Taehyung.

Jungkook left Taehyung in the hospital after two days of their confrontation. Taehyung didn't change for those two days, only difference was that he didn't leave Jungkook at all. But he continued to stare down at the white walls blankly, until his eyes pained and tears rolled down from them. It was hard to say if tears rolled down because of the pain in his eyes or pain in his heart. He couldn't eat because the lump in his throat wouldn't go even if he wanted. The lump ached, making him cry, making him gulp air numerous time but the pain couldn't go away, it was here to stay. His heart literally ached thinking about leaving this warmth, leaving Jungkook. But he had to go, go to become a perfect man for Jungkook and come back to him again. Even when he didn't get hospitalized yet, he thought of the day when he would come back to his love.

Taehyung didn't leave Jungkook for those two days, he clutched Jungkook's shirt in his fingertips and stayed that way for his heart and mind to feel better. He spent his days with head on Jungkook's shoulder. He didn't even let Jungkook go and cook for them. So along with Taehyung, Jungkook too didn't eat much, not like he had any appetite either. They both spent their days in each other's arms with glint of fear in their hearts smothered by loads of pain - pain of separation.

When it was the time for Jungkook to leave Taehyung in the hospital, everything became ten folds difficult for both of them. Jungkook's own words of encouragement failed to strengthen him. Taehyung was silent all the way to the hospital, even stood silent when Jungkook completed his admission procedures but when it was the time for Taehyung to let Jungkook go, he lost his mind. He went from screaming to begging to crying but to no avail, Jungkook left, turning deaf to all of Taehyung's pleas.

-x-x-x-x-x-

" Yes Mr. Jeon take a seat." Dr. Jung said to Jungkook as he entered his cabin. Dr.Jung was a tall lean man, with thin rimmed glasses sitting on his nose and eyes reflecting unexpected kindness. He was appointed for handling Taehyung's case. He wanted to meet Jungkook to discuss about his patient so, Jungkook sat on the opposite side of the table, eyes still telling the stories of their heartbreaking separation a day ago.

Dr. Jung was recommended by Jin. Apparently he was an experienced doctor on board at the hospital. He promised Jungkook that Taehyung would be discharged soon but he had to follow few rules for the treatment to go efficiently.

"I called you here to discuss about your visiting hours."

Jungkook just nodded to continue, having no energy and will to answer at the moment.

"You can meet Taehyung in the hospital for only a day of the week, mostly Fridays."

"One day? For how many hours?" Even when Jungkook knew he wouldn't get more than one day to visit Taehyung, he still felt disappointed.

"Not more than two hours." Dr. Jung said, adjusting his frames on his nose to have a better look at Jungkook's face.

"What ? That's too less. I was told that I would be getting at least six hours to meet Taehyung. I...th....that's too less, even Taehyung wouldn't leave me this early. He'll be already opposing the idea of meeting only one day of the week." Jungkook was clearly desperate to increase his visiting hours because he knew he couldn't stay away from his love for long.

"Okay okay... Just five hours, not one minute more than that. You know why we are keeping visiting hours so short. We don't want Taehyung to pretend that he is alright, when he is not and he would do that to convince you and take you back from here."

"Yes, yes I understand. I won't come between your therapy. Just save my Taehyung." Jungkook just wanted Taehyung to be alright. He wanted Taehyung to be back as soon as possible to him because distance was suffocating him - killing him. The loneliness that he suffered for years was back again, but this time more harsh and haunting. Going home to no Taehyung was pricking his heart every second, every moment.

"Can I meet him now. Just for an hour. I know it's not Friday but still...."

-x-x-x-x-x-

"Tae ? Baby?" Jungkook gently shook Taehyung who was on his bed, facing the wall. Doctor told him that he didn't eat anything and was stubborn to meet Jungkook, so he allowed him to meet Taehyung out of the schedule for once.

Taehyung glanced back immediately, identifying the soothing voice of his lover. When he saw his face, Taehyung couldn't help but let roll down a tear on his cheek, feeling overwhelmed that his prayers came true.

"Kookie!" And he plunged onto Jungkook, making Jungkook to hold Taehyung securingly by his waist, to steady him.

"Kookie, I missed you so much. I missed you so bad I don't know how I'm going to live here without you. It's getting tough, it's suffocating in here. Take me kook, take me far away from here. We could live together. I won't be a problem for you, I promise..." Taehyung sobbed on his shoulder, loosing the battle even before fighting. Jungkook cupped his face and urged Taehyung to look at him, feeling helpless because of his emotional rant.

"I missed you too Tae, I really do want to take you away from here, but my love, I can't because I want you to be alright. Don't give up Tae, don't give up on me, on us, I need you. I want you by my side. I'm just waiting for that day when I would take your hand and walk away from this hospital. I'm waiting for you to be all happy and healthy so that we could start afresh. Just think positive, just let positive things invade your mind, okay. I'll be there when you need me. You just have to close your eyes and see me through your heart, I'll be there for you."
And Jungkook kissed Taehyung slowly but passionately, slowly - because he wanted it to last for a little longer, slowly - to savour every moment his lips touch with Taehyung's, slowly -  so that he doesn't have to leave early.

Let me feel you this moment
Let me savour you for a little longer
Let me breath a little longer
Let me be happy a little longer
Let me engrave your every touch
In my mind
So that I could live with it
For a little longer!