I Was Never Loved! (Taekook)

Chapter 1

A/n This story was solely meant to be available only at ao3 as I was scared of someone plagiarising my content without my consent n I wouldn't even know about it bcuz I ain't that active here. But looking at people adding this story in their reading list, I decided to publish what I have here[might be heavily unedited]. So enjoy~)

Seoul-City of dreams. Taehyung's city of dreams. It's been a week that he joined his new office. It's been a week he was staying in this empty flat given to him by his company. It's been a week, missing his family.

Already feeling homesick, he tries to spend maximum of his time in office. Not like he made friends there so he could spend some time with them chitchatting, gossiping, going out clubbing. Actually he made no friends. A portrait of life in Seoul that he picturized was crumbling down slowly from the fire called reality.

Very first day of office he realized he was not someone that his mom used to say. A social butterfly. He was welcomed in the office like you welcome a transfer student in school. Awkward. Work started on the very first day and his colleagues were all busy in their work, wanting to complete the task for the day and just get the fcuk out of those four bare white walls. They didn't bother to indulge him in their conversations neither did he tried.

The atmosphere wasn't friendly at all. It was dry. It was like people didn't know his language or he wasn't from this planet, feeling really Foreign in a somewhat civilized society.

He wanted his pictured city of dreams, the Seoul life that he dreamt for so long. A home not a flat, friends not acquaintances, happiness not emptiness. He wanted it so bad but at the same time he spared himself from trying anything on his own. Normal taehyung would have tried to make new friends but this taehyung was having difficulty to even talk to people. This Taehyung was different.

He didn't know why he felt so less confident, so inferior, like he never deserved Excellency, like he was not the person he thought he was.He didn't feel like initiating a talk with his colleagues, he didn't feel like socializing at all.

He started to believe that Taehyung back in Daegu was different or that Taehyung never existed. He thought he was excellent in socializing after all that's what his mom had said to him. But why was it so so difficult now? His mom lied to him, she only said good things to make him feel special, to make him feel normal. He wasn't a kid now to be given false hopes and compliments by his mom to make him feel good. She shouldn't have done that because now he just felt so out of the place. His mind felt so foreign to him, his body felt the same. He called his mom daily and cried to her for lying but she kept on telling (oh sorry) lying that he was just finding it difficult to adapt and soon he'll be fine

He waited for that day. A day when he would adapt to the city and the office. A month went by and he felt like 10 years passed by . Each day being a struggle to cope up with his emptiness like there's nothing in him. Hollow. That's what he was, that's what he felt.

Days weren't getting better, to say truly, they were getting worse. Coming from an unfriendly cold office getting into another hell hole of an empty apartment. No one to welcome. No mom to nag him for throwing his socks all over the place . No dad to bash him for looking him into his eyes. No one, not a single soul.

Same day, same moon 
24/7 every moment repeats 
It's funny, you think anything is possible when you're a kid 
And now it's hard to get through a day. 
Feeling like the "Control" beat 
Every single day a repetition of Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V. 
Hoping for a better day 
Now that's what is more difficult, 
To hope.

Another day welcomed Taehyung with a newn gossip making rounds in the office. A  colleague beside him came and started to gossip about a new boss joining their office. No! she wasn't gossiping with Taehyung, actually she was busy on her phone talking with their another colleague who seems to be taking holidays for lame excuse of being ill every two-three days of the week, he was  always surprised that why wasn't  the woman fired yet. But so was to be Taehyung,  for not concentrating and giving his 100% in the task he was given in the office because of his own dilemma.

"Yeah!!!! At last we are getting a young boss. This old hag was making me feel old myself." She said looking carefully, voice a whisper not sure if their pretty old boss showed up for the walk.

" Yeah this old man is resigning and his son is going to take his position. Oh my God! I feel so happy . At last we'll have a sexy topic to gossip on. I heard he is damn handsome. And he completed his studies abroad." She said excitedly, her hands fanning despite AC of the room roaring like harsh winter windstorm.

He didn't know why AC of their office room was always so freaking cold like they want to make people feel cold physically over their usual cold behavior.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Yeah! So the boss had arrived. But Taehyung didn't see him, because all women in the office gushed over the main cabin of MD to have a look of their so called "Heavenly Sexy" boss. It was not like Taehyung was desperate to see him but yes he was curious about him, after all the praises he heard about him. He went back to his desk having no hope to see him today, thinking they might encounter soon as they would work together. 

Don't get him wrong for being so curious. Everyone needs an interesting topic in their not so interesting life. Or more like not so interesting life of Taehyung.

Taehyung went back home getting his take-away on his way back. Embarrassing thing about Taehyung was that he didn't know how to cook. He was not good at cooking, actually he was good at burning up. Burning up the entire house down trying to cook.

Talking about fire, Taehyung was afraid of fire. He was scared shitless. He panics, even if it's a flicker of flame because something triggers his mind and that "something" is the thing Taehyung doesn't want to delve on. He was satisfied not thinking about it.

As usual Taehyung came to his flat, changing his clothes, switching on the TV and keeping the volume enough for him to listen to it in his bedroom, drowning the silence away.

TV plays all night because second day in Seoul, silence was suffocating him. The bare walls were haunting him, nagging him, as if they were coming closer to him. It was like walls had hands and were nearing to choke him. He couldn't feel air pass through his lungs making his insides churn in something uncomfortable and nauseous. It was truely an disastrous situation he experienced in his lifetime. 

Taehyung ran away to his living room falling numerous times on his way, sweating all his clothes and gasping for air, eyes puffy from crying.

He wanted someone or something that could make him feel that he was not alone. Like he has something to hold on to . Someone to go back home to. He wanted someone to make him feel alive because he could feel his death coming. He could see his death which are nearing because of his mind going insane. Goosebumps all over his body, he couldn't keep himself sane.

But soon he heard a faint music playing in the living room.  Probably a piano? In his neighbourhood?

Fortunately, that's what helped him calm down. The soothing unknown melody bringing him down from his highs, pulling him back from the screaming darkness and embracing him to the comfortable warmth. Taehyung settled down on the floor, wrapping his arms around his legs making him small, eyes shut and calling for his mom in whisper until he fell asleep on the cold floor.