Saving Hadley

Chapter thirty two.

Day seven...

A whole week. One whole week I've been substance free, and it's been absolute shit. I mean yeah, I feel pretty good, but I'm craving all of it. The pills, the weed, the coke. As horrible as it is, I do. Even alcohol, I want all of it more than anything.

The two days Austen was giving me some space were horrible. I had continuous nightmares, I barely ate, and most of the times that I did eat, I'd throw it up. Not fun.

I'm currently taking a shower, leaning on my shoulder against the shower wall. The warm water is helping to relax my muscles from another nightmare I just woke up from.

It would be one thing to get them, wake up, and calm down, stuff that normal people do when they get a nightmare. But my body has started to ache every time I wake up from one. And it gets worse each time.

I turn the water off and get out of the shower and pull a towel around my body. My hair is in a mess on top of my head and I'm heavily debating leaving it like that for school. Although I know myself well enough to know I'll brush it out.

I dry off before rewrapping the towel around my body and walking out to my closet. I put on some underclothes and pull my black uniform off the hanger and put on the pieces slowly. When I have it all on I walk back to my bathroom and pull my hair down. I grab my brush and brush my hair out till it looks somewhat decent.

I pull it up into a ponytail and look into the mirror. The dark circles under my eyes are very prominent against my pale skin, causing me to frown. It would probably be best if I got out and actually ate some food that didn't make me sick. But that seems impossible.

I crouch down and open my cabinets up and dig around until I find my concealer pen. I stand back up and pull the cap off, twisting the bottom and applying some under my eyes. When I finish I look at what I've done, it didn't help at all.

I take a deep breath and throw the concealer in the trash can, hard. I grab a rag and run it under some warm water, wiping the concealer out from under my eyes. Screw that.

I walk back into my room and sit on the end of my bed, rubbing my temples. I look up and around my room, I wish Austen was here. I can still smell him when I hit a certain spot in my sheets, causing my chest to feel weird.

I stand up and walk over to my window, looking into his room. His light is still off, but that makes sense, considering it's very early in the morning. I just decided to get ready because I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.

I let my eyes fall to the record player in front of the window, the one I don't use anymore, since I broke all my records and threw them away. I did that when I was going through the roughest part of my drug use. I don't regret it, just looking at it brings up memories. Some are good and some are not. Getting the good ones didn't seem as good if I got the bad ones as well.

I walk back over to my bed and slip my shoes on, I grab my bag and head out of my room. I quietly slip through the hallway and down the stairs. I go into the kitchen and look at the different food options. My stomach turns at the thought of anything right now. I take a moment before I decide I'll just leave.

I walk to the door and unlock it, stepping outside, I lock it back and walk down the stairs. I walk down the sidewalk and pass my car, I do not feel like driving today. I could wait until Austen gets up, but I'm trying something new instead of sitting in my room. And having something to do is way better than being trapped with my thoughts that have been consuming me for the last two fucking days.

I readjust my bag on my shoulder and turn right, there are a few things this way on the way to the school. I look up to the sky and I see the stars, I've always loved the stars. The sky is also starting to lighten up, as soon as the thought crosses my mind, I hear birds starting to chirp. I small smile plays across my lips, this feels incredible, I don't remember feeling any type of clarity like this in a while. That's because my mind is always consumed by everything. My past, present, and future. Always.

It gets tiring to constantly think about the same things over and over again. But I can't stop any of it. Although right now as I walk, I'm not thinking about anything. It's like there's peace in my mind, like I needed something calming to realize that I actually never have my mind to myself. Maybe now that will change. Hopefully.

I continue the walk more into town, and by the time I get there, the sun has risen and almost everything is alive.

I make my way into a coffee shop, one that Ashley and I used to come into all the time. 'The Busy Bean'. Ethan used to work here during high school, as soon as he graduated he quit. I never knew why he had a job when mom and dad had enough money for everything we wanted. But now, having something to do that isn't destructive sounds nice.

I walk to the back counter slowly, taking in the scenery I haven't seen in so long. It looks the same. The floors are still wooden and creak with certain steps you take, the few rundown couches placed throughout, the square tables and chairs. This is very nostalgic, and it's like I'm reliving walking through here with her.

I get to the counter and the girl behind the counter smiles at me. "Hi, what can I get you today?" She asks.

I smile at her and look at the menu. I decide what I want and turn my attention back to her. "I'll have a black coffee and a donut twist." I say and she smiles and types it in.

"That'll be $8:49." She says and I pull out my wallet, swiping my card. "It'll be brought out to you when it's ready." She says.

"Thank you." I say.

She smiles at me and turns around, starting on the coffee. I turn around and walk to a comfy chair with a table. I take my bag off and reach into it to grab my phone. I can't find it though. I look again and go through all of it, but it's really not here.

I sigh in frustration and lean back. I mean it's okay, but I know Isaac and Austen will want to know where I am, and if I'm not answering, they'll probably assume the worst because I haven't exactly made the best choices in my life.

Right then the lady brings my things, I thank her and start eating my twist. I take a sip of my coffee and enjoy the warm feeling it gives my body.

I quickly finish my thing and grab my coffee, it's the second week of October and it's quite chilly outside so some warmth will be nice.

I adjust my bag onto my shoulder and start walking to school, hopefully they'll think to go to school. Worst case scenario is if they don't show up, I'll just use someone else's phone to call them.

Hopefully they won't be too freaked out, they should know that I'm doing better and won't do something stupid.

But like I said, hopefully.

This chapter took me forever to write, but it's finally done. I had planned to make it longer but the idea to spilt cane because hehe I love cliffhangers.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one!!

Don't forget to vote and comment!!

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