90 DEADLY DAYS (WEEKLY UPDATES RETURNING THIS DECEMBER)

Chapter 48

"Jewel?" My voice rises. I grab her, shaking until her teeth chatter and her empty eyes open and peer blankly at the sky. Hollowness crowds the blue orbs. No whisper of breath escapes her lips. I shriek, shaking her harder and harder, willing life into her. Willing this all not to be true.

"Wake up. Wake up!" Someone screeches.

"Jewel, it's me. You can hear me! I'm here, waiting for you. Come back. Come back to m-."

A desperate wail cuts me off, reverberating through the hills and shaking snow loose from its perch. The wail echoes, sounding even more frenzied. The vividness of the sound brings reality to life. If I could convince myself this was all a dream, that echo would destroy it. This is real. I have lost her.

Truth stabs me in the lungs. Dissolving into fitful, tormented screams, I draw Jewel into my arms and bury my face in her hair. The truth hits in waves, huge crashing waves that drown me beneath their force. She's gone, never to breathe, laugh, or smile again. Jewel will never again walk in the light of day. Xaro banishes her to a land of eternal darkness, one I cannot reach. One I cannot save her from. Control slips into the cracks and wild, agitated dread creeps in. I scream into red hair, over and over.

I should have never returned. I should have ran into tomorrow, until I passed out from exhaustion. Until I forgot about her. I could've saved her if I'd been smarter about Xaro. Her recovery was all a ruse, all a ploy to fool me into killing my own love.

I can't even cry. The horror in my chest tightens. I yell, gripping the remnants of my beloved.

When calloused hands take hold of me, I stiffen, voice dropping to a low growl.

"Don't touch me."

Despite my warning, Atol pulls my struggling form away from Jewel's. I scream, clenching my arms around her cold body. Once I let go it will all be final. I will have to admit her existence is no more. I can't do that. I won't do that. But Atol's strength is relentless and when his large hands clap over mine and pry them free, I lose the last member of my family. Death sweeps over with its cold breath and sinister laughter.

I bow my head and give one final, wrenching cry. The noise shakes the trees and snow springs down. With it, a touch of sanity sprinkles over the scene. I scramble up and step back, unable to take my eyes away.

It's over.

Jewel's red hair splays out like a fan. Her body falls limply without me. I wait for the nightmare to end. The rosy color will return, won't it? Jewel will get up and run to the end of this awful game. I wait and wait.

When nothing happens, I at least wait for the tears to come streaming down like they always do. The rivulets of water that remind me I'm human, that it won't always be this way. Instead of receiving cathartic relief, my face stays dry and hard, void of all feeling. Just like him. I stand there, bitter and forlorn. I have to remind myself to breathe.

Atol carefully wraps Jewel's dead body in the Fynx fur and carts her off into the woods. The clouds darken and the heavens pour down snow. My Fynx fur tumbles around my ankles and I let the downpour swallow me in its fierce, unrelenting hand. I open my chest, my lungs, willing the cold to take me too. There's nothing to live for anymore. Nothing to pray for anymore. Nothing to fight for. Nothing to love.

Nothing to love me.

Atol disappears for about an hour and a half. When he returns and sees me shivering, he approaches. Bowing down, he retrieves my fur from the snow and encases me in its icy hold.

"You haven't cried," he observes. "You need to cry. You need to let go."

The truth slams me like a brick. I crumple, shuddering. Atol catches me before I crash. I fall into his warmth, pressing my head into his chest. Finally, the tears burn behind my eyes. I release a cracking sob. Wracked with oncoming grief, I clutch Atol's robes and try to hide from the pain.

"I can't do this anymore."

In a surprising show of gentleness, Atol wraps me in his strength. I collapse into him, weeping.

"Yes, you can, princess."

"I have no one left."

"You have me."

I fade into a sorrowful abyss, screaming out at a hardened world.

You have me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A TRIBUTE TO GRADUATE JEWEL (Evergreen by Yebba)

I kissed my penny and I threw it in

I prayed I'd keep my soul

Went down to the river where the water bends

The only place I know

Oh, I can't see

The forest, for the trees

So will you wait for me?

Will you wait for me?

Will you wait for me?

My evergreen

Standing at the water's edge

The Mississippi's overflowing

Hold your current in my hands

You bring the meaning to my moments

Oh, I can't see

The forest, for the trees

So will you wait for me?

Will you wait for me?

Will you wait for me?

My evergreen

So will you wait for me?

My evergreen

I know it's just as hard in heaven

So will you wait for me?

My evergreen

I know it's just as hard

My evergreen

Evergreen

My evergreen