90 DEADLY DAYS (WEEKLY UPDATES RETURNING THIS DECEMBER)

Chapter 5.5

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Chapter 5.5

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They collect us just as dawn breaks.

Two Protectorates march on either side of me, taking a route so confusing, I give up trying to track where we're going. I stumble down the hall in my lilac dress, having not bothered to change last night. My slippers tap on the floor, the only sound besides the Protectorate's stamping boots that I hear.

The walls change from thick iron to red sedimentary rock. The change makes me curious as to whether this means we've gone deeper underground or higher, heading for the bright sun and freeing sky.

Why does no one speak?

The unwelcoming faces of the Protectorates offer no explanation, only reminding me that the power I might have thought I had over them in my youth has vanished. They no longer serve us, we are no longer needed. I'm no better than the castaway shoes I tossed into the depths of my closet.

Adonis used to say they'd be lonely in there. I'd laugh, saying shoes had no feelings.

Maybe they did.

Oh, Adonis.

He no longer remembers me. If I ever see him again--no I don't want to imagine him forgetting me. I need good thoughts for hell or else, as Dana says, hell comes in.

The Protectorates stop in front of a steel door. One of them presses on the thumb pad while the other stares at me. Her eyes are blank, just like her expression.

"Good fortune citizen of Xaro," she says as the doors open.

"I'm not a citizen of that place," I snap. There is still no flicker of life on her face as the words leave my lips, nor as I step into a room made mostly of glass.

"Welcome," a woman smiles as I enter. "Put these on and lay on the exam table please."

Reluctantly, I accept paper thin clothing and tiptoe into an adjacent changing room. There, I strip myself of my dress and slippers, adopting the flimsy shirt and pants.

The woman stands next to the bed, preparing a formula to insert in a huge needle. Watching suspiciously, I lay on the bed, my breath hitching when she swipes my arm with a cold wipe.

"How was the feast?" She says just as roaring pain explodes. I yell, sitting up and staring at my wrist that now has a glowing square beneath the skin.

"It's a tracker," the woman says. She removes her big needle and replaces it with a smaller one. "It'll help us find your location."

"You mean to find my dead body," I reply, recalling a piece of information. "In case I die in the shadowlands."

She pretends not to hear.

My attention flickers to the door when it beeps and opens again. A child walks in, their beaming face shining like the full moon. I gasp and discreetly pinch myself, hoping I'm not dreaming. When a zing of pain causes me to wince I shriek and scamper off the table, past the woman watching my reaction with a smile.

Why is she smiling?

"Adonis," I fall on my knees and draw him close. "I thought I'd never..." My voice breaks off and I bury my face in his neck, breathing in the scent of lavender, the smell that will always remind me of my brother.

"Please don't cry," his small hand brushes my hair. "Because then I will too."

"Oh don't." I pull away, my voice strangled by emotion. "Cause' then I will cry more."

He takes my face into his hands.

"Then don't cry," he giggles.

I can't help but giggle too.

"How are you here?"

"I managed to get the time for your insertion postponed so there could be one last goodbye." Despite my tries, the sound of Dana's crackly voice brings me to tears.

"So he still won't remember me, after...?"

"Huh?" Adonis turns his huge brown eyes to mine.

"No." Dana looks away.

A sob manages to slip from me.

"It's just as well. If I die at least there'll be no pain for you." My lips press against Adonis's forehead and I hug him so tightly that I'm sure he'll break.

"You won't." Dana steps forward and bends to my eye level. The reassurance in his voice is so strong that I start to believe him.

"I won't."

"This has to end now," the woman interrupts. "I have to have her prepared soon."

Dana looks at her and under his gaze the woman seems to swoon. My lips press together as I realize what Dana might have done to let me say goodbye to my brother. 

A pang erupts in my chest. Once more, guilt strikes me.

"C'mon Adonis." Dana takes Adonis's arm. Surprisingly Adonis doesn't put up a fight and carefully releases me. I can see he understands that this was only temporary.

He's become so mature already, so brave.

"Adonis!" I cry, reaching for him again. He blinks over and over again. A tear rolls down his ebony cheek.

"Phoenix you can't go like this," Dana says. "Stop and breathe."

I comply, quickly brushing away my flowing tears.

"Now say goodbye to Adonis."

I force my lips to say the words.

"Goodbye, little brother."

"Be strong, Phoenix," Adonis answers, swiping away tears of his own.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Dana gently pushes him to the door and Adonis leaves, shoulders shaking with sorrow. My heart feels as if someone cut it out of my chest and crushed it.

Dana also walks to the door, but before he leaves completely he turns.

"There will be a point, where you've seen too much. All reason will be lost and if you're not careful, the cause of your fall might be insanity. When that happens, because it will, remember Adonis, remember whatever you know will keep you sane."

I'm rendered speechless.

"Don't let Xaro crush you," Dana says. "Out there you have a chance to crush them."

He leaves and the door shuts, a beeping sound announcing that the room locked securely.

The woman guides me back to the exam table and swipes my upper arm with a sanitary cloth. I watch as she aims a needle, the vial filled with a clear liquid, and stabs it into my dark flesh. The room blurs and a creeping blackness clouds my vision.

Before I slip away, I whisper something Nebula used to say under her breath in times where the future seemed bleak.

"God help me."