A little Luck (GLs)

Hell

      I entered the room, feeling a little insecure. My mind was still clouded by last night's bourbon and my body still a little limp, but this was my chance to see her again, so I couldn't have missed it. Having breakfast with her and her husband -especially given my condition- was going to be a lot like hell for me, but I didn't care. I would've gone through hell for her anytime.

    She was seated at the table, next to Nick, but there was something wrong with both of them. I could tell, by the way they avoided looking at eachother. Plus, the way Nick looked at me wasn't exactly friendly. For a moment I wondered if she had told him about last night, but then I realised she wouldn't have done that. No matter what, she loved that sucker and she would've never hurt him -even though that meant she had to lie to him.

    "Morning!" I said, then I took a seat next to Gina and poured myself a cup of coffee. It was all I could do not to fall asleep under the table. Gina put her hand on my thigh, but I quickly removed it. I knew that I wouldn't be able to resist her today if she started teasing me. My mind was so full of Kate and her reactions last night, that I could've done everything by myself and still be better than any sex I've ever had with anybody else but her.

    I've noticed her hand was holding Rowland's and that made me angry, but I resisted the urge to kill the son of a bastard. Just a few moments later, I noticed that her rings were missing and my heart almost bursted out of my chest. I wished I knew what had happened and where that put me, but I couldn't have asked. Not as long as Kate was refusing to even look my way. Her phone started vibrating and she checked the caller's ID. Her smile wasn't big, but it was enough to make me curious. She answered and headed to the lobby. I couldn't help, but follow her, even though I knew what everybody's reaction would be to that.

   She didn't even notice me.

   "Yes, sweety, of course." Sweety? "I miss you too, but I'll see you tonight." Who will she see? "I know. I promise I will." Ok... It really made no sense. "Yes, I love you too. Bye, cricket?" Cricket!? What the fuck? Kate turned toward me and gasped. Just then I remembered that she didn't know I was there, so I had to make up an excuse for following her.

    "Have you been here the whole time?" She sounded scared.

   "No. I just got here a minute ago." I knew I was a bad lier and I knew that she knew that too, but I had to try. "Who was it?" I had to ask her that, because honestly, there were only two possible answers in my oppinion. First... She had an affair -meaning she didn't love Nick, but also she didn't love me- and that would've been a disaster. Second... She and the idiot had a baby -case in which I would've killed him- so forget the disaster, it would've been the end of the fucking world.

    "Nobody important." Yeah, right... She was just as bad a lier as I was. "So what are you doing here?" Of course... Change of subject... I grimaced and searched for something to say.

   "I wanted to talk to you about last night." Since we had to talk, why not talk about this? "What happened was..." But I didn't get to finish.

   "Another mistake of yours, I know..." My world started crumbling to the ground. Mistake, huh?

   "I ment to say it was a fucking revelation." I growled and she looked me in the eyes. "Call me crazy, but I fucking liked it and I would do it again." Her lips parted and her eyes slightly narrowed. I decided to go on, since that was her only reaction. "I want you back, Kate. This time there's nothing standing in our way." My voice was husky and my lips were dry. Kate let out a hard laugh.

   "You mean nothing except my marriage." The hell with her marriage! People were divorcing all the time.

   "You don't love him!" I silently growled at her.

   "The hell I don't! Why would I be with him if I didn't love him?" That was a good question indeed.

   "You should tell me that. All I know is what I see, Kate. And I see you don't love him." She dropped her eyes to the floor. "A while ago, you told me you've never stopped loving me. If that's not true anymore, just tell me and I'll let you go. But until you do that, I just can't give up on you. I can't!" She flushed and sighed.

   "I still do. I'm sorry!" She said and then started to walk away, but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

   "Who were you talking to, Kate?" I asked, my lips so very close to hers.

   "How much did you hear?" She asked me back.

   "Not much."

   "Nobody, then."

    I squeezed her arm a little tighter.

   "You can't keep doing this to me. I can't take it anymore, Kate! This is torture."

   She closed her eyes for a moment.

   "I'm sorry! I know I'd only have to ask for it and you'd let me go, but the thing is... I'm too selfish to let you go."

   She teared herself away from me and started for the table. Ok... I should've known she would choose the hard way. Time to get out of hell. Even if purgatory was all that waited for me -because there was no hope of going to Heaven for a sinner like me- it was the time I got out of the fucking hell I've been living in for the last years.