My Safe Refuge

Chapter 15

I'm stood frozen in my place, not knowing what to say. Hayley is looking completely shocked at what she has just heard.

She looks at Chris in confusion. "What? I mean I just assumed that I would be going as normal? Ellie has only been an employee for one week, it didn't seem likely that she would be going?"

"I just think that given the fact that this new project coinsides with the awards, it seemed appropriate that I would bring her. I will obviously be briefly talking about the new centre, and I would like to introduce Ellie as she will have put in an awful lot of work into it, so it only seemed fair for her to be there. That's if it's okay with you Ellie?" Chris says, as he turns his attention to me.

I spot Hayley in the corner of my eye giving me the death stare, clearing hoping for me to say no to Chris.

"Oh, well I don't know, it doesn't feel right for me to go in Hayley's place, as she pointed out, I have only been here a week."

Chris shakes his head lightly. "Nonsense, Hayley understands, this is our project that we are working on together, so we should both be there on the night of the awards. After all, without you, the new centre would just be a bare structure of a building."

Hayley quickly interrupts, not giving me a chance to respond first. "Not to worry, sure you could always add another guest onto our table. I'm sure they won't mind, that way Ellie can come too."

"Well no, it's not that simple I'm afraid. I already tried to do that, but they are stretched to the absolute limit. It's strictly 3 guests along with me, which will be Lily, Bryan and Ellie."

Before Hayley can say another word Lily quickly speaks up. "Look guys, I hate to break up the conversation, but we really want to get going."

Hayley doesn't protest this time. I can tell by just her facial expression that she is fuming right now. She looks completely defeated as she grabs her coat and bag, maybe if she wasn't such a bitch to me all the time I might feel sorry for her.

After we say our goodbyes, Chris and I make our way back into the kitchen. He turns his attention to me. "Ellie? I didn't mean to spring that on you back there, about the awards. I was planning on saying it to you tonight when everyone was gone but then Hayley brought it up. You don't have to come if you don't want to, it's entirely your decision."

"No, of course I'd be delighted to go, but I can't help thinking that I'm stepping on someone's toes by going."

"You mean Hayley, right? Don't worry about that. Hayley just probably assumed that she would be going as I don't normally bring the interior designer's, because usually I never work alongside them as the are mostly freelance designers that have their own office and we would communicate through emails and video conferences."

"Well I guess if you're sure it won't cause problems, then I would be honoured to go." I say with a smile.

"Perfect. Well that's settled so." he says, with a small nod of his head.

(Damn, Lily was right. I should have bought that blooming dress. Oh well, not to worry, I'll pick something up before next week.)

"What day are the awards being held on?" I ask.

"Oh yes, Friday as 7.00pm. I usually bring my suit to the office and go from there as there would never be enough time to get home and then back. So I suggest that you bring your dress with you on Friday and get ready there."

"That's no problem." I say, as I make my way over to the kitchen sink to help Chris with the dirty dishes.

"So, how did you get on with Lewis tonight?" he asks.

(Oh great, this is definitely something that I don't want to talk to him about.)

"He seems nice enough I suppose." I say, with absolutely zero enthusiasm in my voice.

What I really wanted to say just now is, Lewis never stood a chance against you. All I could think of was hoping across the dinner table and onto your lap, feeling your whole body against mine. Except that troll Hayley had me in a fit of jealously and anger, watching her drape herself across your body, so much so that I had to leave the room.

Chris' voice pulls me from my thoughts. "You don't sound too convinced?"

"I don't know, it just didn't feel like there was any romantic spark, or connection between us."

"Maybe you just aren't ready yet, after David?"

(If only he knew that I'd be more than ready to jump his bones right now, virgin or not, I want this man so damn much.)

"Maybe." I say in a low voice.

Chris continues rinsing the dishes, and passing them to me as I put them into the dishwasher, our hands briefly grazing each time. This tiny bit of contact, sends little tingling sensations through my body.

When I have all the dishes put into the dishwasher, I push the door closed. When I step to walk around the counter, I don't notice the small wet puddle on the ground which must have came from drops off the rinsed dishes. I slip, about to go down flat on my back, when a pair of big strong, warm hands grab me around my back and waist, steadying me up to a standing position. I suddenly find myself pressed up against Chris' toned body, as his arms still hold me firmly.

"Woah, that was a close call, are you okay?"

I look up to meet his eyes which are staring down at me. We gaze back at each other in silence. I don't want to move or make a sound for fear of breaking the connection that I feel with him right now. I notice Chris leaning his face down closer to mine, his eyes dropping to my lips and then back up to my eyes once again. I continue to close the gap between our lips, knowing that this is wrong, but also knowing that I couldn't stop this now even if I wanted to.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, our lips meet. The kiss starts off slow and gentle, his lips feel so soft and warm against mine, sending a light shiver down my whole body. I slowly run my hands from his firm chest up to his neck as I feel the kiss deepen and intensify, his tongue now mingling with mine. Every nerve in my body is now on fire.

I start to gently intertwine my finger through the silky locks of his hair, when suddenly Chris quickly pulls away from me.

"Christ Ellie, that shouldn't have happened, I'm sorry." Chris says, clearly flustered.

"Chris, relax. Don't apologize for that kiss.....it was...."

I don't get the chance to finish my sentence when Chris quickly interjects. "No Ellie, don't finish that sentence. This can't happen, ever again. Do you understand?"

The gentle and kind expression on his face has swiftly been replaced with that of a cold and almost harsh one, which I have never witnessed on him before. I feel my heart drop to my stomach, as a wave of nausea washes over me. I suddenly feel like a little schoolgirl being scolded for something naughty.

Chris voice pulls me from my thoughts. "Ellie, do you hear me?"

"Yes, I understand."

"Goodnight Ellie." he says before disappearing up the stairs, leaving me completely dumfounded and humiliated.

(What the hell just happened? He kissed me like I have never been kissed before, he made me feel things deep inside my body that I have never felt before. Then he tells me that it shouldn't have happened and that it can't ever happen again.)

I feel the sting of tears rolling onto my cheeks. I can't seem to hold them back any longer. He actually made me believe there for a second that he wanted me, that maybe he felt something for me, but clearly that is not the case.

I quickly make my way up to my bedroom, where I bury myself in my pillow, letting the tears flow. I need to get it all out of my system before I see him again. I can't let him know how much he affected me. My feelings are definitely stronger for him than I'd like to admit, but I know now that I most certainly have to push them aside, and accept that he's never going to be my man.