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(not proofread!!)
namjoon pushed past people, bumping shoulders, barely seeing as his vision was still clouded by his tears.
a million thoughts were running through his head right now. they were full of insecurities, doubt, heartbreak and regret.
he pulled his arms into himself and continued walking down the street, his tears nearing a stop.
he walked for an hour, ending up nowhere, near a bridge, outlooking a river. he went up to the edge and sat on it, twiddling his hands.
he took a deep breathe of cool, crisp air, looking down at the sea. the waves look so peaceful and they moved back in forth. small jewels of moonlight sparkling against it with the gem itself sitting at the horizon.
namjoon tapped against the metal bridge, making small clanging noises. he listened to the swish of the water, calming him.
and then his mind began to take over again. he closed his eyes, trying to forget, forget everything.
namjoon sighs and starts humming a piece that yoongi played for him on the piano. he closed his eyes hearing himself hum the simple tune.
he looks up, examining the sky, the stars twinkle, each at their own pace.
"why do you love and hate sound just the sound just the same?" he whispers into the crisp air of the night.
if yoongi truly loved him, he would've told namjoon about vernon. he would've never hurt him. he would've never broken his promise.
he begins to tap his fingers on the bridge in a rhythmic pattern, the sound of the steel breaking the calm silence.
"i just wanna stay right next to you." namjoon says, tears slipping down his cheeks. why did he still want to be with yoongi? he still wanted to be held by him, touched by him, loved by him, kissed by him, God he even wanted to be fucked by him again.
he was lied to before he even knew yoongi. all the time they've spent together, all of the laughs, all of the "i love you's" meant nothing.
namjoon's phone began to ring, startling him. 'kookie' flashed across the screen and he hesitantly picked it.
namjoon wasn't even able to say hello before jungkook talked into the phone. "baby where are you?"
"i'm on a bridge but i'm okay." namjoon's voice was dry and hoarse, holding back more tears. namjoon heard jungkook sigh. "baby please do-"
"i'm not gonna jump if that's what you're thinking kook. we are past that." namjoon said, tracing the pattern of the screws on the bridge.
"i-i know baby but you never know." jungkook says timidly. "i know you're worried so can you come get me please? i think you're the only person i trust right now." namjoon says softly.
