The Traitor { Villain Deku AU }

Chapter 26: Letter

Dear Old Friends.

I want to sincerely apologize and explain myself during my last remaining minutes of level-headedness. I trust this will find you eventually, hopefully before this school year is up.

Let me begin by saying, I'm sorry. And you have no reason to believe that my apology is truthful. During these past few years, all I've done is terrorize you all, mentally and perhaps physically. I do not wish to justify my actions, because that cannot be done. I would simply like to give you all a few parting words and the 100% true story, and not any of the lies I may have told you before.

I'll start at the beginning.

  I was kidnapped by The League along with Kacchan as you know. But even before this, I had been tortured by them. They've broken into my home, cursed my dreams, and stalked me in public. 

 When they finally got me, they filled my head with lies and pain, and when I showed resistance they injected a substance into my system that would send me on this horrible journey. That was all very real. I stayed loyal the entire time, even when I reappeared at the school and betrayed you all, a betrayal that haunts me now.

I returned to The League. Who, as a reward, gifted me my own group of villains, too mentor and use as I saw fit. Know that they were less my proxies and more my friends during this time. 

My sanity had begun to slip away within a week of them first injecting me with the horrible brain changing liquid. So you can imagine how I was faring this far into the game. I was a sadistic monster. 

We continued with casual crimes as a group. Only a few had my name attached to them. I alone committed horrible crimes that the news never covered.

My body count is in the hundreds. I was very proud of this.

 The League maintained their own operations and enlisted me and my gang to help if they saw fit, but this was a fairly quiet period.

I had maintained the Villain lifestyle up until very recently. Some of you may know a member of The League was taken into custody and Todoroki had an encounter with her. While he was distracted I destroyed his room in his own home.

That was a girl we call Zashi, by the way. She may have seemed out of it when you met her but I assure you she is a fascinating girl. I can not begin to explain the help she has been. 

At this point, I was beginning to note changes in my behavior and thought process. I began to laugh casually and genuinely, which had not occurred since before the kidnapping. I felt more sympathetic towards my members and the people passing on the street. I chose to ignore this, seeing it as me simply being distracted.

The following night we all went out to an arcade as a celebration. I saw Kirishima, Kacchan, and Uraraka there. I highly doubt they recognized me. We talked as if nothing was ever between us. As if they never hated me. As if I never hurt anyone.

I found myself longing for those casual conversations. I felt regret that this friendly banter was no longer in my life. And I felt an even greater pain knowing I could never get it back.

That night was the first night in years I felt any emotion besides anger and resentment or just plain numbness.

I panicked. I was crying, I was hurting. And I knew I could never ever go back to the life I had. Memories haunted me, sounds and sights I thought had long been forgotten resurfaced and overlapped. It played nonstop as I rushed to Shigaraki, begging for help.