Hunger Point | Phan

Chapter Eighteen: Reality is Escaping

{ dan }

        "Now, Listen, Dan." Bart began, sitting on the edge of my bed. Instead of pinning me to the bed and ripping my clothes off, he walked in and sat. What the hell? "I don't like the way this has been going down.. I don't feel it's fair. What do you say we make a change?" He suggested.

There was a catch. He wasn't being nice. He was here to make things worse. He wanted a change that benefits only him. Oh god, Oh god. I was not ready for this. "I want you to be more... involved." He spat, snaking his arm around my waist. I shivered at the contact, disgusted. I'm not a good actor, I can't pretend to be into anything with this man. "You'll fuck me back, you got it? No more whining, crying, and resisting. If you refuse, I'll torture you to the point you'll beg to have me fuck you. You will work your body with mine, and you'll enjoy it. Is this understood?"

        "Understood."

-   -   -

        I wrapped the jacket tighter around me, shivering and sobbing, waiting for the door to open. I coughed as a sob got caught in my throat, rubbing at my running nose.

"No, man, Best Friend's Brother is genius." I heard before the door swung open to reveal a laughing PJ. When his eyes landed on me, his smile melted and his face paled. "Shit," He muttered, before shouting, "Shit! Phil!" PJ gathered me in his arms, to my surprise since he barely knew me, pulling me inside. He squeezed me tight, telling me, "Hey, you'll be okay. Phil will make things okay." Then the air shifted and I knew from his scent that Phil had me now. I opened my eyes, the pale skin of Phil's neck greeting me. I kissed the spot where his neck met his shoulder, finally feeling warm. "What on earth happened?" He asked gently, kissing my head.

        "I have something I need to tell you. Something I've kept from you." I admitted, sniffling. "It's okay. Come on, Let's go upstairs."

-   -   -

        "My mom is heavily addicted to drugs..so much so that she would do anything to get a fix. And she's been getting her fix by allowing a dealer to rape me... every single night... sometimes five times in a row per night. It never ends." I told him the rap, staring at the ceiling the entire time.. I couldn't face him. I don't care that I left out one single important detail. That, tonight, I had to engage myself. I didn't want him to know that. "I'm so sorry." Phil said, holding me tight. He was crying softly. "I'm so, so sorry. I love you so much, what can I do?"

"Nothing." I said, "Just be there." And he was. And that's all I needed.

        -   -   -

"Phil, mommy made me sin-man rolls." Phil's little brother said, meaning cinnamon rolls, waking me up. "You guys were still sleep?" He asked. He was so cute with his improper grammar.

        Phil nodded, yawning. "Why?" Keaton inquired and for some reason, that struck me as absurdly funny. I began laughing. Phil started laughing, too. Suddenly, we were all laughing, even Keaton. I sort of expected him to ask "why?" again when we stopped laughing, as if our laughter had an answer.

Then Keaton gasped. "Daddy's home!" He shrieked, running downstairs. I didn't know what he meant until I heard their front door click shut. "Dan.. since everyone's home.. I think we should... you know..tell them about about us?" Phil asked, a hopeful smile painted across his face. "We should." I agreed. And so we were.

        *

The plan was: Phil was getting to tell everyone and when I heard Phil clap, I was to come out and say hello, finally meeting Phil's horrid father. Phil has told me the worst stories about that man, I hope I don't explode on him, and I hope Phil coming out to his family doesn't make things worse with his dad.

        "Okay...Mom, you've met Dan, but um...I just wanted to let you guys know we're.. like, we're a... we're a couple."

I heard Phil's mom gasp before she said, "Oh! I'm so happy for the two of you! I liked him from the moment I met him, Oh, Phil, this is great. I love you honey."

        A grin spread across my face. I loved Phil's mom. Then Phil's dad said, nice and loud, "Dan? Can I meet this Dan?"

I hadn't heard his voice until now...

        My heart sunk to my feet. I felt dizzy.

His voice... was so..

        Oh god this revelation would taint the very fabric of my world, please don't let it be him.

I heard a clap. "Yeah, actually, he's here."

        I willed my legs to move. They did, but slowly, barely. As soon as I rounded the corner, my eyes met his. Oh no. Bart. My mom's dealer. My rapist.

My vision began narrowing. I couldn't...no. Phil's dad.. my boyfriend's father...oh god.

         Then I couldn't see anything. I was just trapped in a dark, desolate world. A world where reality is escaping. There is no reality. There's nothing. It's as empty as I am and I'm just nothing. The way it should be.

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omg it sucks and IM SO SORRY THERE'S BEEN SO MUCH SKIPPING AROUND THE LAST FEW CHAPTERS ITS JUST UGH TOO MUCH TOO MUCH I DONT WANT TOO MUCH FILLER BUT IF YOU GUYS LIKE FILLER I'LL DO MORE FILLER THAT WAY YOU'D GET LONGER CHAPTERS I JUST DONT WANNA BORE YOU OK PLS TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT ILY <3 <3 <3