Here's to the Heartache (Frerard) *Discontinued*

40: Curiosity Killed The Cat

Frank's positive mood quickly faded once he and Jamia parted ways at the end of the school day. As hard as he tried to hold onto the pleasant conclusion he had reached during lunch time, it slipped through his fingers like water escaping from a broken vase. Frank muddled his way through work, he'd picked up a shift today since he was running dangerously low on funds, throwing himself into the most menial tasks in an effort to escape the ravages of his mind, but no matter how furiously he scrubbed dishes, Frank couldn't stop mulling over everything that had happened lately.

So instead of going home like he knew he should have, Frank found his feet leading him to Ryan and Brendon's bar. It had been far too long since he had visited them, so it was about time he stopped by, or at least, that was the excuse he used to allay the guilt he felt at leaving his mother by herself for an entire day. She was most likely fine, she hadn't called him yet, which was typically a good sign, unless she had forgotten who he was that is, and in that case...well - Frank decided to skip over the possible scenarios that might entail. Either way, she was most likely asleep now, so she would be fine if he didn't come home for a few more hours.

Frank groaned under his breath as he tried not to worry, but really - that's what he had been doing for most of the afternoon. He might be feeling better about the situation with his father, mainly because that was something he actually had control over, but everything else was harder to keep a handle on. His mother was a constant burden, as terrible as Frank felt labeling her as such, and now without Gerard by his side, all of the things that had always plagued Frank were returning full force. Gerard had become a barrier of sorts for him, a shield from the horrible things the world continued to throw at Frank, and his disappearance hurt more than it should, especially since Frank understood his boyfriend's reasoning for keeping his distance, at least mostly.

Gerard had other priorities right now, Mikey had to come first, Frank knew that, but he wished that he at least placed second in his thoughts and not last. As awful as Mikey's condition was, Frank never imagined that Gerard would cut him out entirely because of what had happened. Frank felt like a child that was being shunned from the adult table; Gerard was happy to have him around when it was convenient, but when things got serious, he was instantly pushed away.

And honestly, Frank knew he wasn't being fair to his boyfriend. He couldn't even begin to imagine what Gerard was feeling, and his decision to keep Frank away wasn't completely illogical, it just stung. There was so much going on at the moment, and Frank wanted his anchor - his boyfriend by his side, no matter how selfish that made him sound.

A part of Frank wanted to curl up in a ball and hide, he wished he could go back in time to when he was that innocent fifteen year old kid who had no idea how shitty life could get in a few short years. What if he had tried harder to find his dad back then? Maybe things would have gone entirely different for him, he might still have a relationship with his father, perhaps his mother would even be getting the mental help she needed which Frank had no idea how to achieve with her constantly in denial over everything? Yet on the other hand, Frank might not have the people in his life who he loved like Brendon and Ryan, but especially Gerard. His life was fucked up, that was for sure, but it had good in it too, Frank had to keep reminding himself of that.

So Frank walked inside the bar with a smile on his face, the familiar chiming of the bell comforting him more than it should have. It was slightly busier than usual, so Frank didn't announce himself right away. He could see Brendon from where he stood; he was working behind the bar, inciting Frank to take a seat on one of the unoccupied stools, fiddling with the nearby container of toothpicks while he waited for Brendon to notice him.

As he glanced around at the numerous patrons, Frank caught the gaze of a man that he vaguely recognized as someone he used to let take him home not all that long ago. The man gifted him with a grin that harbored on the side of a leer, but when Frank shook his head to show that he wasn't interested, he instantly returned his attention back to his drink.