Here's to the Heartache (Frerard) *Discontinued*

10: I Can't Think Of A Chapter Title So Have Some Pointless Filler

By the time Frank had reached his deceivingly innocent front door, his previous good mood had deflated entirely, leaving him nothing but a mess of nerves and shaking hands that didn't seem to want to grab onto his key just yet, and in all reality, he truly didn't want to go inside, because then he would have to deal with the fiasco that was his life once again.

Frank had been in such a rush to get home, but now that he was here, it was as if he was moving in slow motion, because even though he knew his mother needed him here, that didn't mean that Frank felt needed, or even accepted in this house that was no longer a home.

Frank's house seemed to physically repel him, as if it knew that he wasn't wanted here, and all that was awaiting him inside was an angry mother that was sure to ask too many questions that Frank really couldn't provide answers to, but Frank couldn't run away from this for any longer, and the quicker he got this over with, the sooner he could go up to his room and daydream about Gerard.

Being with Gerard had taken him away from all this, it had been an escape, almost like living in an entirely different world, where Frank wasn't the fucked up seventeen year with a debatably insane mother and nothing to look forward to. When Frank had been with Gerard, he had been wanted, he had been special, and most of all, he had been carefree, unrestrained by the usual burdens which weighed him down, and Frank had almost forgotten what that felt like, but he wanted to experience it again as soon as possible.

And as Frank finally got his house key into the lock, he realized that his mother shouldn't even be home today - it was Wednesday after all, which meant she had skipped out on work, probably because she was worried about Frank, and now he had another mess on his hands to clean up once he made his way inside.

"Frankie - is that you?" Frank flinched at the hated nickname, because it only brought back memories of his father, and it sounded so unnatural falling from his mother's tongue, but no matter how many times he pleaded for her to simply call him Frank, she never remembered.

"Yeah - it's me," Frank called out, internally bracing himself for whatever was about to follow.

Because the terrifying thing was, that Frank had no idea what to expect. A typical teenager would come home to a furious mother who would lecture their son about staying out all night without calling, and that was definitely a possibility, but honestly - Frank could be walking into anything right now. His mother might not even recognize him, or she might erupt into tears at the sight of him; Frank didn't know, he never knew, and he really hated not knowing things.

Actually, Frank would be fine with not knowing how his mother would react, if she would only do so in a way that wasn't totally irrational. Frank truly yearned for a caring, overprotective mother that would genuinely be worried about Frank's safety when he didn't come home that night, which was not what most teenagers wished for, but Frank wasn't most teenagers, and he would fucking kill for that.

There had been countless nights when Frank's mother hadn't even realized Frank was gone, but the worst was when she didn't know Frank was home, when she didn't even acknowledge that she shared the house with another person. That was what Frank hated the most, and at least his mother had recognized him when he walked in the door, which meant he hadn't left Gerard's place for nothing.

Still, Frank was seized with the irrational desire to bolt while he still had the chance, to dash back to Gerard's and take him up on that offer of breakfast, or even better, drag him into the bedroom where Frank could bury all of this in the touch of Gerard's skin against his own until Frank forgot everything except for Gerard.

Frank could stay there all day, he could leave his mother to her own devices, and not worry about whether she had called into work or not, or how much sick time she had left, and if they would dock her pay for missing today. Frank could ignore it all, he could drown out everything in the vortex that was Gerard, but he didn't - not this time at least.