Here's to the Heartache (Frerard) *Discontinued*

20: Blended Organs And Cracked Spines

Gerard didn't know what he was doing, or where he was going, but his destination didn't really matter right now as long as he got away: away from that school, away from Frank, away from the horror welling up inside of him every time he allowed his brain to make the connection that his boyfriend was in fact his student, that his boyfriend was seventeen, that their relationship was illegal - fuck, how could Gerard have been so stupid?

Gerard hadn't known how to react when Frank had finally admitted the truth to him, so he had fled, he had dismissed Frank as if he meant nothing to him before escaping into the safety of his car where he could release his emotions in peace, but he had found the parking lot to be surprisingly crowded, so Gerard had coaxed the engine into life before driving around aimlessly, sending Mikey a quick text telling him not to expect him home for a bit while he was stuck at a red light.

Gerard had originally intended to secrete himself in the forest, to his spot that had always been there for him when he needed to hide away from the outside world and all the horrors it held, but Gerard couldn't do that anymore, not now that he had shared that beautiful night there with Frank, because even if their relationship was ruined, that moment would never be tarnished, and Gerard refused to stain it with his presence while he was in this state.

Now Gerard was sufficiently lost in a city that he had once known like the back of his hand, but the years away had erased the familiarity these buildings one held to him, and Gerard wished it would stay that way, because this placed seemed to bring him nothing but pain time and time again, no matter how many fresh starts he made for himself, so maybe this was the world's way of telling him that there was nothing in Jersey for him besides heartbreak, and Gerard needed to take the fucking hint and get out before it was too late, but he didn't know where else to go.

Gerard cursed under his breath as a truck swerved dangerously close to his vehicle, or maybe Gerard had drifted too far into their lane, he honestly couldn't tell, the tears blurring his vision were making the task of keeping his eyes on the road almost impossible, so despite the part of Gerard that wanted to run, that needed to keep moving before all of the terrible events of this afternoon caught up with him, Gerard forced himself to pull over near a small park, his wheels haphazardly sprawled in-between two spaces, but Gerard didn't care enough to fix his sloppy job, and no one else was around to complain about the excess area his vehicle was taking up.

Breathing deeply through his nose in an attempt to calm himself, Gerard tried to get his tear ducts under control so he could figure out what the fuck to do now that he knew Frank's age, but the supposedly calming motion seemed to have the opposite effect on him, and before Gerard could stop it, a tortured wail was tearing its way out of his throat, the pitiful sound reverberating loudly in the enclosed space.

Gerard couldn't stop crying now that he had started, fuck - this was the second time in just as many days that he had allowed his emotions to break through the supposedly impenetrable walls that he had built around his heart, but Frank had been tearing them down ever since that first night that he had come into Gerard's life, and now Gerard was left weakened and defenseless as an intense outpouring of sorrow crashed over him, the never ending waves battering his tired body as he gave up fighting against it, letting the hot tears spill down his face freely, any attempt to wipe them away would be pointless, so Gerard didn't bother, although the salt was stinging his skin, and his cheeks were becoming uncomfortably sticky and stained with every passing moment.

And despite everything, Gerard wanted Frank there with him, he needed to hear Frank's soothing voice, to lose himself in Frank's touch, to find comfort in his presence, because Frank was one of the few people that Gerard could trust when he got like this, he knew exactly what to do, what to say, and also what not to do, but that was all ruined now, because Frank had shattered the bond they had with his stupid lie, but fuck - Gerard would give anything to turn back time to the days when he had no idea that Frank was underage.