Here's to the Heartache (Frerard) *Discontinued*

34: Choices

Frank had stayed with Gerard the entire night since he wasn't willing to go home and face his mother just yet, or ever really, but he knew he would have to do so eventually. Still - he wasn't quite prepared to deal with what she had done even after school had ended, so Frank sought out Pete's company since Gerard had a teacher's meeting scheduled after work and Frank didn't want to go back to his flat alone since Mikey had hardly been there lately.

Pete was home luckily, and he seemed happy to see Frank, even though his smile fell when he asked Frank how he was doing only to earn a harsh groan from Frank in reply. Frank took the time to greet Pete's mother before he allowed his friend to drag him upstairs so he could interrogate him, but honestly, he wanted to talk about this with someone who would most likely know what the right thing to do would be.

Gerard's advice had been more than helpful of course, and in the end, Frank was aware that the decision rested with him and him alone, but Pete knew his mother almost as well as he did. He and also been close to his father before he had left, so he might be able to give Frank some insight on how to deal with this new disaster that had unfolded along the perilous path that was his life.

"Is it Gerard?" Pete asked as soon as the door was closed behind them. His rapid assumption that Gerard was the reason for his distress had Frank tampering down a sudden welling of anger toward his best friend, but he understood his conclusion, he just didn't like it.

"No, it's not," Frank tried not to snap, "in fact, things are going great with him. This is something else entirely."

"Okay, so spill," Pete suggested, throwing himself down in his office chair while Frank chose to collapse on a nearby bean bag.

"It's my mom, again, but this time was just...god - it's fucked Pete. I still can't believe she would do this to me," Frank exhaled heavily.

"What did she do?" Pete asked warily, solemnity draining all the color out of his tone as he gave Frank his full attention.

"She has been hiding letters from me, my dad's letters. He's been trying to get in contact with me for who knows how long, and she's been making sure I don't see them. She said it was to protect me, and I know she's not mentally well, but I don't think I can forgive her for this."

"Oh god - that's so shit," Pete exclaimed, his eyes widening in a manner that would have almost been comical if Frank wasn't so weighed down by his own internal concerns to laugh at it. "I knew she didn't like him obviously, but to go that far...fuck Frank, I'm so sorry."

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised, it just hurts you know," Frank sighed. "She literally said he was sick, and he could infect me if I reached out to him, which I'm tempted to do just to piss her off. I have his phone number now, and his address, so I could if I wanted to."

"And do you?" Pete queried gently.

"I'm not sure..." Frank hesitated. "I've spent so much time assuming he didn't want me, that he had all but forgotten me, and now I know that's not true, but it's still hard to shift that sense of thinking. I haven't seen him in years, and a part of me wants to, but the other half is worried he'll have changed, or that he won't like the person I've become - hell, I barely do, so why should he?"

"Frank, your dad loves you, he has to if he's still trying to reach out to you even this long after he moved out, so if you want to go see him, I'm sure everything will go fine, but if you don't, then no worries either way."

"That's almost exactly what Gerard told me," Frank responded without thinking of how Pete would take his statement, but besides a slight stiffening of his muscles, Pete didn't react, "and I truly do appreciate both of your support, but right now, I honestly don't fucking know what I want. I am more concerned about what to do with my mother at the moment. Every time I think about going back home, my blood starts boiling, but if I leave her on her own, she'll be fucked, and I can't just sit by and let that happen."