Better Off Friends | Joshifer

16 - I'll Be Here

I'll Be Here

Sorry.

The word flashed on my phone, for the 20th time today. And I guess you know who sent that.

Yes. It was Josh.

I don't even bother replying to him. I'm pretty sure he has some reason, but it still hurts. The guy ditched me on my birthday. Okay, not exactly my birthday, that was the birthday party. And today is my real birthday.

My phone rings again, and I look at the screen.

I wish you could just let me explain.

I take a deep sigh, and bring down the phone beside me. I'm lying on my bed, just waiting for Sam or Jena to call me if we have anything to shoot later.

Of course, I'll rely on them. Just like I said, I can't be bothered.

I shift my position, so now my face is down on my bed. And the moment I go on that comfortable position, someone knocks on the door. Ugh.

"Come in!" I shout, my voice muffled because of the matress.

I hear the door click, and then footsteps. My room opens, and I sit up, seeing Liam in front of me.

"What?" I ask lazily.

"I heard you're devastated from yesterday." he says, sitting beside me. His arms wraps on my shoulders, squeezing it. Liam is one of my best friends, just like Josh, Jena, and Sam.

"Not exactly devastated, but a bit sad." I sigh again, it seems to make the heaviness of my chest go away, but it doesn't.

"Hey, don't think too much about it."

"I wish I could."

"Maybe you just like him too much." he says, and that makes my ears perk up. Liam knows about that of course. Everyone knows, and I know it, but that's the first time I hear it from someone else's mouth.

"Maybe." I rest my head on his shoulders and hugs him. This is the first time we talked about something this deep.

"Why do you like him anyways?" he asks. Why does he need to know? I don't think I can even answer that question.

"I don't know." I say, I can't really think straight right now. "I think you don't need a reason to like somebody. It's just a natural feeling. It's like you wake up one morning, realizing that you like someone. And once that reason is gone, what? You won't like him anymore."

"Even though he's hurting you?" I pull away from him, and he looks at me. I stare at his eyes. I think there's something that he wants to say to me, but he can't.

"It's my choice to get hurt. I really can't blame anybody."

"It's hard for me seeing you like this, you know that?" he says, holding my hand.

"No." I say, "I didn't really think I can affect someone like that."

"If I ever see you crying about him again-" I cut him off, because he's already pointing a finger at my face.

"Oh, what will you do?" I slap his finger away, which made us smile.

"I'll be your boyfriend." As soon as he says the last word, I laugh uncontrollably. The thought is incredibly hilarious, which made me snort.

"Really?" I say, tears still on my eyes, still laughing.

"Hey, I'm serious." he sas, but he's still smiling.

"Deal." I say. As I said, I really am not thinking straight. And I won't let myself be hurt again.

He extends his hand for me to shake,and I do.

"You know, I really like you." he says, and he stands up. I just stare at him, not knowing what to say. Is he serious? "Bye Jen."

He goes out of the bedroom, leaving me stunned and confused.

 ۞۞۞۞۞۞۞

I'm sitting at the shore, the sun just beginning to set, and I let the wind blow on my face.

At least I wore a jacket, but my legs are not protected from the cold.

I never thought I would be this sentimental.

I see someone sit beside me from my peripheral vision. I look at him, and I see Josh. I turn around towards the beach again, my eyes tearing up from the sight of him.

"Hey." he says, his fingers meeting mine on the sand, which makes electricity course through my body.

"What do you want?" I ask coldly. My voice shows no expression. I just don't know what to think anymore. The wind managed to dry up the tears that was still forming a while ago.

"Please forgive me." he says, softly. I can tell he's sincere, I don't even know why I'm giving him sucha hard time.

I turn to him, my face still free from emotions.

"What did you do?" I ask, monotonous. It doesn't even sound like a question.

"I broke up with Claudia."

What? Was that what he really said?

"What took so long?" I ask, breaking the cold lady persona.

"She was thrashing around, and I can't control her. But eventually, she broke down and got home." he doesn't even look sad when he says it.

"Why?" I ask, raising  a brow, hoping for an answer I'm looking for.

"I just can't take her anymore. And realized that I don't love her anymore." he's free now. The image of Liam, appears suddenly on my mind. I shake my head a bit, and just focus on Josh. Finally, I won't see Claudia anymore.

"Are you okay?" I squeeze his hand gently, the brush of rough sand beneath our palms.

"Yeah." he says, smiling, which makes me smile too. Just the look of his face makes me a giddy and my heart pumps faster this time.

We sit there in silence, only the splash of waves on the sand can be heard. Nobody bothers us this time. It's just us two, enjoying each other's company even when there's nothing to talk to about. The silence isn't awkward, it's comfortable, even.

"I guess we can go back to being best friends?" he says after a while. I look at him, hiding the disappointment in my face, but if one looks closely, they can see it.

Why am I even disappointed? I think you can guess why.

"Of course." I say, he stands up, brushing the sand off of his pants. He gives me a hand and I stand easily.

We walk through the shore, hand in hand, no malice this time. He notices that I'm shuddering, so he pulls me a bit towards him, his arm wrapping around me. It feels warm, as our bodies close on each other.

Soon, the moon appears on the sky. It is free of stars, which makes it dull and boring.

But nonetheless, this night, Josh is beside me, so I'm happy.

I think about what he said earlier, 'go back to being best friends.' I'm not exactly satisfied with that. But do I have any choice? None, right?

I still want to be best friends with him of course, but aside that, I want more.

 ۞۞۞۞۞۞۞

Vote. Comment. And Share :)

I have no title, because I don't know what I'm gonna title it :/

Hope you like it!