Better Off Friends | Joshifer

10 - I Can't (EDITED)

 I Can't

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What is she talking about? Is this even true? Are those words really coming out of her mouth?

Is her mind awake?

Is she lying?

But for all I know, drunk people don't lie.

A thousand questions are racing through my mind right now. And those are just a few of them.

I can't seem to explain everything that's happening.

She loves you.

I don't know if I'll be happy with that news...

I have Claudia. The girl I really love right now. And I'm already happy with her.

And I'm gonna lie if I say that I don't feel anything for Jen.

Break up with Claudia. You loved Jen first, didn't you?

All I can do is sigh at the thought. 

I sit beside Jen and wipe her tears away.

"Me too." That's all I can say.

She doesn't answer this time. But a little part of me hope she did.

I don't know who to pick.

Jen or Claud.

Jen or Claud.

Who?

 In answer, I hold Jen's hand and mutter the word "Sorry."

۞۞۞۞۞۞۞

 I felt a person shaking me and telling me to get up. I open my eyes, still half-asleep.

"Josh." she says, "Wake up."

I groan and prop my body with my elbows. 

"What?" I ask, irritated, for all I know I don't have to wake up this early.

"You were having a nightmare." Claudia says with a worried look on her face. "You kept saying Jennifer's name."

I was having a nightmare? Oh, that explains the sweat beads on my face and my constant shaking. I didn't even notice it before.

"What?" I said once again, that's all I can say.

Why would I shout Jen's name in my sleep?

"Yeah, you kept repeating her name." then Claudia looked down, probably shocked that I would say another girl's name in my sleep. "I can't say that I didn't fell jealous."

"Claud.." I say, holding her hand. "You know I love you."

"But you love Jen." she says, her voice a little shaky, that means she's probably holding back her tears.

"Yes, in a very different way." I say, a little bead of tear trickled down her face. And I wipe it with my hands. "You don't have to be jealous."

"I can.." she says, drifting off, "But you have to do something."

 "What?" I say, holding her hand. "I'll do anything Claud, just ask me."

"Anything?" she asks. And I nod, assuring her.

"Anything."

"Stay away from her." she says, and I stare at her in shock. I don't know what to say. I don't even know what to think.

"Claud..." I say, still staring at her, she looks at me with a stern look on her face. "I can't."

"Then I think it's better if we break up." she says, looking away. i can feel the world crashing down on me.