Better Off Friends | Joshifer

35 - Are You Coming To the Tree?

Are You Coming To the Tree?

"Can we just please dub Lorde's voice to mine?" I plead again and again to Francis.

We're shooting the scene where I need to sing the Hanging Tree, and I don't think I'll be able to do it.

"Jen, we can't." He says, but I still don't want to. "You know the scene. We need your voice. Katniss' voice."

As much as I don't want to admit it, he's right. It won't have much impact if we dub. And worst, we're not doing auto tune. This is going to be the worst part of the movie.

"Please." I start to get teary-eyed now. And it's not because I want him to pity me. Singing is my worst fear.

I think I got traumatized when I sang in middle school and my dad laughed at me after, saying my voice is that bad. And that I sound like a guy.

And I especially don't want to sing in front of the cast and crew. Millions of people are gonna watch this scene, too.

"Jen, I'm so sorry." He places his hand my shoulder. "But we need to start filming now. Just try, ok?"

I wipe my tears with my hands, and I sniff.

"I'll try." I say, and we walk to my position.

He runs me again on how he wants this scene to look like. Half of me is listening, and half of me is nervous. I really don't want to do this.

"Jen, are you listening?" Francis asks, and I snap back to reality. Honestly, I only understood a little bit.

"Yes. Of course." I'm such a big liar.

"Come on, let's do this." He says, and I go to my position. Liam, Elden, Natalie, and Wes are all ready.

"Action!" A man calls out, and everything started rolling. I take a deep breath, and prepare myself for the moment.

"You want me to sing?" I ask Elden, who gestures with his hands.

I'm smiling, a little bit. But inside I feel like I'm shaking. I wait for a while, like I'm thinking what I'll sing.

"Are you, are you coming to the tree?" I sing the first few lines. Everyone is staring at me. I feel like they're judging me, and I can't stand it. "Where the dead man called out for his love to flee."

"Cut!" Francis yells. "Jennifer, that's the second stanza!"

"I'm sorry!" I yell back. I can feel my hands shaking.

"Let's do this again!" Elden gave me a thumbs up, maybe to calm my nerves, but it's not doing anything "Action!"

"Are you, are you, coming to the tree?" I am fully aware of everyone staring at me, and I get that feeling again. No, I can't do this. As much as I want to be professional about this, I can't. "Where they strung up a man-"

My voice broke mid sentence, and I feel my eyes getting teared up. There's something clogging my throat. This is what happens before I get a panic attack, and I feel it coming.

My whole body is trembling, and I slip from the rock I was sitting on, and fall to the ground. I start to hyperventilate, and I feel like my lungs are not getting enough oxygen. And everything starts to fade.

I can hear the panic around me, and people start to move towards me. I am aware of things, but I just can't move and see.

Tears unknowingly stream from my eyes, and I sit in a fetal position. My face is buried in my hands, and I can't move.

"What is happening to her?" I can hear Natalie's British accent in the background.

"Don't surround her! She'll get suffocated." I can distinguish Liam's accent from everything.