Chapter 40: Family Virtues

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Chapter 40: Family Virtues

Fredrick never saw himself as the man that sat at the window, staring out into the open distance, doing nothing at all besides waiting. He was waiting for a sign, a view, an image... Anything. Lydia was gone, with a promise to return, but would she? Their romance was short lived to say the least, he was the first to admit that, but it felt as though he had known her longer, or should have.

It was hard to let his mind wander elsewhere for too long, to think of his past mistakes and how the repercussions haunted him to this day. It was a heavy price to pay to deny your own pride in favor of another's approval. In the end, you only had yourself to answer to, and a man's own self was his worst critic. He had to answer to himself for the mistakes he made. He could blame Robert from tempting him, but he could only blame himself for being tempted.

At some point, he had to stop cowering.

Lydia was out there, in the face of danger, willing to put herself right in harm's way to help her sister. She was small but oh, she was so strong. She stood taller than any great man Fredrick knew. She commanded every room she walked in, and he felt that she was missing was a great, white horse. To think that he felt so weak but the woman that stole his heart was so strong was what motivated him to grow a spine. If he wanted to be worthy of Lydia Quincy, he had to first be worthy of himself.

He managed to push himself away from the window and begin his day, as he had every day since Lydia had left. He had to admit, functioning was much easier both before he met her and when she was around, but now that he knew of her and she was not around, she was always on his mind; a constant distraction.

"... And that is why I need to ask your permission."

Fredrick blinked and suddenly he was in the drawing room, and Shelter Hall was wide awake, with an array of servants flitting in and out, and his young cousin, Emily Doyle, sitting in front of him, eyes intent.

"I'm sorry?" Fredrick frowned. "Permission for what?"

Emily huffed. "Really, cousin, you did not hear I word I said?"

"I..." He cleared his throat. "I suppose I did not. Apologies, my dear, what is it that oyu need my permission for?"

Emily rolled her eyes. "I would like to allow Patrick Neilson to court me this season."

"Who?"

"Patrick Neilson!" She exclaimed. "From the winter ball, remember?" He must have had a blank expression on his face, because she rolled her eyes again. "Really, Cousin Fred, we danced all night together! I ignored every other man on my card to dance with him. He's that Swedish aristocrat that made an appearance last winter, remember?"

He did, but vaguely. Honestly, at the ball his thoughts had been occupied by Lydia, and last winter he had been dealing with the issue of his debts to Robert. If there was a Swedish aristocrat of some sort about, he hardly noticed at all. Still, since Emily's father, his uncle, was long gone and she was entrusted in his care, such decisions did fall upon him.

"Tell him to come around tomorrow for dinner, and I will meet with him," he replied. "If he came to the ball, then I am sure he is worthy enough to court you, but I need to make absolutely sure."

"Can you not just trust me?" Emily pouted.

Fredrick grinned. "I do trust you, cousin, by my promise to your father is more important to me then incurring your wrath. Let me meet Mr. Neilson and determine whether or not he is allowed to court you."

"Fine," Emily mumbled. "If Lydia was here, you would be far more amiable."

"Don't you mean Lucy?" Fredrick asked. "She is my fiancée after all."

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