Philophobia (Stanley Uris X Reader)

Calling All-American Rejects!

⋆ฺ｡*:･ Stanley Uris ⋆ฺ｡*:･

Oh, couldn't let me go, already a part of her

"Wake Up you fucking brick." Richie hissed in your ear.
"Richie? Can you and your friend stop being gay and get out. I need to change." Quinn's watery voice yelled, fully waking you from your slumber.
Richies ears turned red and he started bellowing at his sister, causing her to giggle and run off into the bathroom.
"C'mon Stan. We promised Billiam we'd go to the Barrens with him today." Richie began shaking you as you lay on the floor, smiling softly.
"Stop it Rich." You mumbled.
"I'll stop when you get your ass up!"
"Okay! Okay! Fine. I'm up now, you happy?" You pushed yourself up with the palms of your hands, now using them to keep your body in a sitting position.
"You're not standing up." Richie said in a snarky voice. It soon turned into a terrible Valley Girl voice. "Like, oh my god Stanley. Get the fuck up Stanley. Like, oh my god! You're still not up yet?"
"Shut up Richie." You groaned, pulling yourself to your feet.
"LIKE OH MY GOD STANLEY! LIKE, OH MY GOD!" He started screaming.
"Shut up!" You repeated.
"Richard? Please keep it down up there!" Maggie Tozier yelled up the stairs.
"Sorry mom!" Richie called down quickly, the crimson color returning to the tops of his ears.
"What are you gonna wear today?" He asked you quickly.
"I don't know. Have any non-graphic tee's I can borrow? I swear I'll return it."
Richie laughed. "Of course. Right here." He pulled open a drawer on his dresser. "You'll probably return it cleaner then it already was!"
"Is your sister still in the bathroom?" You asked him, taking a clean white shirt with a pocket on the breast.
"She's a girl. What do you think?" Richie asked. He opened his mouth, probably to burst out into another chorus of the Valley Girl voice. He quickly shut it, looking at that glare from your eyes.
(Yes I'm changing Stans outfit. Fuck off XD)
"I'm ready whenever you are!" Richie chirped.
"You're going like that?" You asked him incredulously, noticing his usual Hawaiian shirt attire.
He nodded, folding his hands behind his head and stretching.
The phone started ringing. You could faintly hear Maggie Toziers voice.
"Hello? Ah. Yes, he's here. Five minutes? Okay, I'll tell him." She hung up and yelled back up. "Richard! Bill'll be here in around five minutes.
"At least put on some socks Rich." You grinned, pulling the shirt over your head.
"What? So they'll just get ruined in the fucking Barrens? I don't think so Stan the Man. I like my socks." He broke out into his terrible Irish Cop voice. "I lioke my socks thare mate. I lioke em lot's. Ey? Spare a piont?" He then broke out into shrieking laughter.
"That was absolutely terrible Richie." You smiled, shaking your head.
"It was fuckin' brilliant and ya  know it Stanley. I'd lioke to see ya do a betta one ey!" He then broke into another shrieking gale of laughter, slapping his knees as he threw his head back, eyes squinted.
"Richie, you moron. Bill will be here any minute now." You said with a smile on your face. "Let's go."
"Wait, Wait Wait. Hold up. MAWSTA BILL DENBRA! WAES YA PICKET FENCE EY?" He Screamed. He broke out into another crazy fit of laughter.
"I-I-it'll be u-u-up y-your ass I-I-if you and S-S-S-Stan don't f-fucking h-hurry up!" A voice from the door startled us.
"Billiam!" Richie cheered, jumping up to hug him. "My Man Billiam!"
"Also, Rich, you were quoting the All-American Rejects. What are you? An emo?" You teased.
"C-c'mon Guys. L-let's g-go." Bill stuttered.
"Awf carse mawsta billiam. Awf carse." Richie started salaaming Bills feet wildly.
"S-stop it y-you f-f-fucking m-mong!" Bill laughed.
"Oh shut it! You love me mush mouth."
"Who could love a guy who's two front teeth are bigger than the whole state?" You wondered aloud.
"YOU! YOU DARE DISHOUNA ME?" Richie boomed as the three of you left the room he shared with his sister.
"Richard! What did I say about you raising your voice in the house!" Maggie Tozier scolded.
"Sorry mom." Richie said quickly, ushering his friends quickly out of his house.
"Have fun Trashmouth!" Quinn called from the kitchen, leaning over a bowl of OJ-infused cereal.
"Would you like to go with them Quinella?" Maggie asked.
Quinn shook her head wildly. "I'm meeting a friend at Bassey Park later. Not gonna miss her for these losers."
You and the boys laughed as Maggie started scolding her daughter. But she was laughing along with the boys.
"Hi-yo Silver! Awayyyyyyy!" Is all Bill said as you mounted your bikes.

805 words (not including this shit)